What a day this has been.. actually two days. Yesterday I find out that we have yet another negative result - But I still haven't started my cycle and I'm showing some more really 'early signs'. And considering this started before July 1st - back when my life was happy and steady - the Doctor has order for more detailed blood work, looking for my specific HCG levels. If it comes back questionable or negative, we all sit back and wait - it's still early and women in my family seem to have low HCG levels where this stuff is concerned. So we'll sit back and wait - if I don't begin my cycle we run more blood work. And continue to do so along with examining and if it goes to long with out an answer even ultra sounds - looking for some answer. Even if it has nothing to do with what I'm actually holding hope for. I'll know my HCG levels Monday. I pray it's a positive. The waiting game is killing me and I have a bottle of rum waiting just incase it's a flat negative I come across when I do.
So I go out west - to visit the Reagan's. I go with my mother and we sit and we talk and we talk and we visit and we visit and we laugh. It feels good. I wish I could tell them,but I wont breath a word until I know for sure. I will not do that to them. If I'm not they'll never know it was ever a possibility. Though his Mom has asked about it a few times, when all this first started. If I am, they are the first to know... I hope, I pray for them I am. For them and for others... and lastly for myself. I want this. Still we talk, laugh and visit. And I would have stayed for diner, but we needed to head home to relieve the 'baby sitters' - my brother and his girl friend, basically staying at home to make sure my 12 year old sister doesn't either burn down the house or someone doesn't break in or what ever .
It's when I get home that I read the first comment left on my Page, from Jeremiah. He makes some good points - and I have allot to say in a reply. But like last night and today I'm tired. I've been on all morning tending to other things and I want to keep my reply short, but - I guess robust might be a good word. Again this is why I'm holding back on a reply to him and anyone else who speaks up till tonight or tomorrow morning. I appreciate the input and for now - Good to know all this type is being seen by some.
As far as today? I wake up to the alarm going off - not my clock, but the motion detector that is all but attached to the ceiling. Placed in a spot on a high shelf where only a bird could set it off.... a bird or a ghost. I wake up walk into the living room as it finishes it's last call of siren and low and behold -nothing is seen to be setting it off.; 'ELLO ALL! Thanks for letting me sleep in!
It's the only down side to this time of the month. Full moons and New moons help the things that go bump in the night bump faster and stronger. And what can I say, whoever is hanging around my house - driving my pets crazy loves to be heard. The motion detector is the fastest way to go about that. Bring on the advil.
I spend most of the lazy morning just talking to Meg, and some of my other online friends. It's good - I needed it. Jumping back into the RPG groups is good. It feels good to get outside of my self for a few hours. Outside of cleaning the living room and baking a cake, things are just slow. And you know It's boring me out of my skull... Oh well... Soon the Black Pearl will be mine. Then I can at least visit my old stomping grounds or head out west to some new ones.
Cheers Darlings'
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Friday, July 30, 2004
O'Reilly/ Moore interview
Bill O'Reilly / Michale Moore... Haven't read the interview yet?
CLICK HERE
I have... And I know the top two things I should not talk about is Religion and Politics... Well I don't want to 'rant' I want to discuss. If I say something here, Say something back. If your out there, let'me have it. I want to hear who's out there, I want to hear what you have to say... Have nothing, still give a shout out. Don't want to? Free Country.
So for my quick review/thoughts on the O'Reilly/Moore interview... I'll start by saying What did not take place - About the only thing that did not take place - between 9/11 and now is a DRAFT!
Children were not pulled from their homes to be Sent Off or Sacrificed... Moore is talking about children... I look at our Military, specifically the men and women currently fighting for our freedom, The men and woman Who Signed Up to Fight For Our Freedom, No matter what. I look at our military, I see men and women I respect greatly, I look up to, I thank God every night for, men and women who hold honor, who stand for everything our nation is founded on, who have basically made a career as patriots. Great men and women... what I do not see are children. Is it sad they lost their lives? - Of course. We've lost many many great souls. But they died doing what they signed on to do, they stood strong on the destinies they set for themselves. And I am very grateful that there are still Families in this nation who care enough for our freedom, for our rights as a truly unique nation - that Patriots are still being brought up in this country. Watching the news, the media - some times I worry - I wonder how we even have a willing Millitary? I'm tiered of hearing our military referred to as Children. If I ever join up - and believe me I've thought very long and hard about it and who knows? If I ever do I would find it insulting to hear the men and women I stand beside referred to as children. I have friends in the Millitary - I would never insult them by referring to any of them as a child - as children.
Now am I saying they are adults - they are no longer children? That they're parents emotions, grief dose not apply to anything? No - not at all.
I'm sorry parents have lost - I'm sorry anyone has to have that grief - I can not begin to imagine what that would ever feel like.. I pray I never do. My point is that be it with their parents blessing or not - The sons the daughters.. the Men and Women, signed on. Took this Patriotic Role on as a career. There wasn't a draft. One way or the other, every man and woman who has been sent off into this war - to fight for our country, for all it stands for and to aid others into the hope that it can eventually be achieved - one way or another - For every Son/Man and Daughter/Woman who went off to serve this country did so by choice. And I for one THANK each of them, I THANK God for them... and further more I THANK their parents.
I'm sorry for those who have lost. It's tragic.
But it's even more tragic that men and women are still sitting in this country, further more playing out 'the personal/emotional' hand of cards - to serve their points, Showing a great amount of Disrespect to these families, to these Men and Women who have fallen.. by remembering as Children lost, instead of what they truly are; Great Men and Women who rose up with Honor, and Nobility - Hero's fallen, but never forgotten.
CLICK HERE
I have... And I know the top two things I should not talk about is Religion and Politics... Well I don't want to 'rant' I want to discuss. If I say something here, Say something back. If your out there, let'me have it. I want to hear who's out there, I want to hear what you have to say... Have nothing, still give a shout out. Don't want to? Free Country.
So for my quick review/thoughts on the O'Reilly/Moore interview... I'll start by saying What did not take place - About the only thing that did not take place - between 9/11 and now is a DRAFT!
Children were not pulled from their homes to be Sent Off or Sacrificed... Moore is talking about children... I look at our Military, specifically the men and women currently fighting for our freedom, The men and woman Who Signed Up to Fight For Our Freedom, No matter what. I look at our military, I see men and women I respect greatly, I look up to, I thank God every night for, men and women who hold honor, who stand for everything our nation is founded on, who have basically made a career as patriots. Great men and women... what I do not see are children. Is it sad they lost their lives? - Of course. We've lost many many great souls. But they died doing what they signed on to do, they stood strong on the destinies they set for themselves. And I am very grateful that there are still Families in this nation who care enough for our freedom, for our rights as a truly unique nation - that Patriots are still being brought up in this country. Watching the news, the media - some times I worry - I wonder how we even have a willing Millitary? I'm tiered of hearing our military referred to as Children. If I ever join up - and believe me I've thought very long and hard about it and who knows? If I ever do I would find it insulting to hear the men and women I stand beside referred to as children. I have friends in the Millitary - I would never insult them by referring to any of them as a child - as children.
Now am I saying they are adults - they are no longer children? That they're parents emotions, grief dose not apply to anything? No - not at all.
I'm sorry parents have lost - I'm sorry anyone has to have that grief - I can not begin to imagine what that would ever feel like.. I pray I never do. My point is that be it with their parents blessing or not - The sons the daughters.. the Men and Women, signed on. Took this Patriotic Role on as a career. There wasn't a draft. One way or the other, every man and woman who has been sent off into this war - to fight for our country, for all it stands for and to aid others into the hope that it can eventually be achieved - one way or another - For every Son/Man and Daughter/Woman who went off to serve this country did so by choice. And I for one THANK each of them, I THANK God for them... and further more I THANK their parents.
I'm sorry for those who have lost. It's tragic.
But it's even more tragic that men and women are still sitting in this country, further more playing out 'the personal/emotional' hand of cards - to serve their points, Showing a great amount of Disrespect to these families, to these Men and Women who have fallen.. by remembering as Children lost, instead of what they truly are; Great Men and Women who rose up with Honor, and Nobility - Hero's fallen, but never forgotten.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
July! What A Month...
July 28th 2004 is the day that Lil' John was born, 4 months early. He weighs just under two pounds - no he's not the first in his situation, he wont be the last... but he's definitely not the run of the mill premature baby. Yesterday he had about a 30% chance. That maybe up by now, it may have slipped down. I don't know. I stopped by to see the mother, Jonesy my best-friend... For roughly about ten years now. She's my back bone - I'm hers. When we need each other. We've never had to fight our own battles - and in a rare case if we did - it wasn't alone. I admit I'm not there for her - She's surrounded by people, her husband - parents inlaw and birth. She's taken care of, I'm here when she needs someone to laugh with in a way only our sick little minds can.
There is a divide, those who think lil'John will make it, those who are scared to death he wont. Maybe I'm optimistic - I'm worried of course - but I'm crossing my fingers, saying my prayers, but I'm breathing. I will admit today when I saw Jonesy, surrounded by her family - I went into a mental shock. I couldn't breathe. Keeping in mind I was on my way to visit my own doctor, trying to get an answer on the question keeping me up at night - am I? Am I not? Seeing her really hit me with a new kind of reality about the situation I might be walking into. I've never been happier to see her Husband by her side. She and I have never fit into each others world... They are meant to be forever. They lean on each other well.. I'm glad to know my childhood friend - my "sister" is taken care of.. I'm glad I'm not needed, I'm glad he is the reason why - Trust me before him she dated some real losers, so it was a worry. On another note, July 28th Leo's ROCK, greatest personalities on earth. If lil' John makes it - Watch Out World - keep a sharp eye on this one, he'll go places. Allot like the March 16th Pieces.
ANYWAYS.. Please everyone - anyone who reads this, keep lil' John in your prayers. I'll try to keep you posted.
And tomorrow - I should know if I am or not. Though If I am, I'm heading out to deliver the news to the so will be if I am is the case, grandparents so you'll know either late that night or the next morning. Pray for lil' John... If there is room Pray for me... Pray for Russell's Family....
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
There is a divide, those who think lil'John will make it, those who are scared to death he wont. Maybe I'm optimistic - I'm worried of course - but I'm crossing my fingers, saying my prayers, but I'm breathing. I will admit today when I saw Jonesy, surrounded by her family - I went into a mental shock. I couldn't breathe. Keeping in mind I was on my way to visit my own doctor, trying to get an answer on the question keeping me up at night - am I? Am I not? Seeing her really hit me with a new kind of reality about the situation I might be walking into. I've never been happier to see her Husband by her side. She and I have never fit into each others world... They are meant to be forever. They lean on each other well.. I'm glad to know my childhood friend - my "sister" is taken care of.. I'm glad I'm not needed, I'm glad he is the reason why - Trust me before him she dated some real losers, so it was a worry. On another note, July 28th Leo's ROCK, greatest personalities on earth. If lil' John makes it - Watch Out World - keep a sharp eye on this one, he'll go places. Allot like the March 16th Pieces.
ANYWAYS.. Please everyone - anyone who reads this, keep lil' John in your prayers. I'll try to keep you posted.
And tomorrow - I should know if I am or not. Though If I am, I'm heading out to deliver the news to the so will be if I am is the case, grandparents so you'll know either late that night or the next morning. Pray for lil' John... If there is room Pray for me... Pray for Russell's Family....
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
What a Man Can Do.... and what a man can't do...
I can simply not keep doing this. I feel like a round spike trying to fit in a star shaped hole. A peasant girl trying to live in a pirates world. This isn't just another fish out of water story - Oh no, if it was I might still stand a chance! I don't exactly burn bridges - and I wont lie to you, I can't say I have never, but none with in the past year. Just I've reached a point in my life, before any of the recent events started happening, where I'm moving into a new life and don't really have any connections and all my old friends, my old life.. well we are all off doing the growing up thing. Unfortunately that means we've all taken different roads.. not ones that are easily traveled by old friendly visitors either. So I work hard, start to get a life together. I tore down allot of the old (bad habits mostly) and slowly began to rebuild. Then something unexpected happened - I fell in love. That shook my little world past the bone marrow and straight into the soul.. just a short while later, something else happened! I lost that love. The love. And I found myself in this half built, shaken world and no real direction to go in, no real connections to belong to, and despite efforts - no real ones to be made. I swear this isn't a woe-is-me sob story. Just a few realizations. Stability is water in my hands.. Reality is sand... and I'm not alone, but my position in life right now is unique, and I would give anything to change that.
Monday, July 26, 2004
Best way to start out any day is with a half positive and a shy negative - Leaving you with a relatively same, but slightly more confusing question. Tomorrow I shall try again.. If the result is still questionable, I'll wait again until next Friday and then on to Monday again if I must and will continue this set pattern, until I arrive at a stone cold, undoubtedly answer. In the mean time, I will try not to lose my sanity - or the level of Insanity I have about my self. No sense in crossing to far over. Flying over the Koo Koo's nest is one thing, flying over the koo koo sanctuary is quite another. Again it's okay - they know me here.
I'm trying to recap in my mind what I have been doing with my time. I mean I finished the seventh chapter in my book I'm writing. Fingers crossed when it's reached it's end, then it's second and finally third draft and once more as I begin to send it off. And in the mean time, I should start the eighth chapter tonight of the first draft. I'll tell you more when I'm certain I know more.
I had launch with Jonesy today. Mexican food again, I don't mind. I actually ordered a quesodiea(sp?) - which is just like what I usually get, but assembled with Motzarilla. Bold, Daring - that's me to a T'. Okay.. so maybe not, but the thought of scraping down another plate of fajita's made me sick to my stomach. Last meal I had with Russell and the same meal choice I had I think every time we went out the week after he died. I'm slowly trying new things to avoid emotional break downs over the old. Still I say Wave On, I mean Wave On!
I had some rants set aside in my mind - I've actually forgotten some of them... I really should write this stuff down.
Wednesday I may or may not have a review of the new Metallica documentary Film here for you. I won two tickets to see METALLICA:SOME KIND OF MONSTER (click for info). And I'll probably end up going alone or with my mother, or if I wake up and find myself with some Positive news, then possibly not at all... in which case this Friday, I've come across two tickets to see some new shark film.. Supposedly it's filmed with out the use of CGI or major special effects, setting it apart from previous Sharky Thrillers like Jaws and Deep Blue Sea. Not exactly Salsa Shark, but it gets a girl out of the house and due to where the film is being screened at, down memory lane. Same theater Russell took me too on our first date. Beautiful place, finest one in the Houston area as far as Movie houses are concerned.
I swear I'm really using this site to help key up my HTML skills, which as of right now are for the most part non- existent .. I'll get to that shortly, and to sharpen my 'voice', Lord knows I could use the practice. Most of everything I write in narrative to begin with, but come on! This is my head we are talking about, not one of my characters. Though that might leave us with far more interesting results.
Sorry to waste anyone's time. I promise something will come worth writing about. I'm sure there is so much out there. I just need to sum up the energy to find it. In other news, we are approaching the full moon, so anyone living with anyone from any other realm keep a sharp eye.. if you believe in that kind of thing of course. Fortunately for some of us, we don't really get to make a decision... For some, the 'Others' make their existence inescapably clear.
"There are things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. And we are the ones who bump back."-Dr. Broom
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
I'm trying to recap in my mind what I have been doing with my time. I mean I finished the seventh chapter in my book I'm writing. Fingers crossed when it's reached it's end, then it's second and finally third draft and once more as I begin to send it off. And in the mean time, I should start the eighth chapter tonight of the first draft. I'll tell you more when I'm certain I know more.
I had launch with Jonesy today. Mexican food again, I don't mind. I actually ordered a quesodiea(sp?) - which is just like what I usually get, but assembled with Motzarilla. Bold, Daring - that's me to a T'. Okay.. so maybe not, but the thought of scraping down another plate of fajita's made me sick to my stomach. Last meal I had with Russell and the same meal choice I had I think every time we went out the week after he died. I'm slowly trying new things to avoid emotional break downs over the old. Still I say Wave On, I mean Wave On!
I had some rants set aside in my mind - I've actually forgotten some of them... I really should write this stuff down.
Wednesday I may or may not have a review of the new Metallica documentary Film here for you. I won two tickets to see METALLICA:SOME KIND OF MONSTER (click for info). And I'll probably end up going alone or with my mother, or if I wake up and find myself with some Positive news, then possibly not at all... in which case this Friday, I've come across two tickets to see some new shark film.. Supposedly it's filmed with out the use of CGI or major special effects, setting it apart from previous Sharky Thrillers like Jaws and Deep Blue Sea. Not exactly Salsa Shark, but it gets a girl out of the house and due to where the film is being screened at, down memory lane. Same theater Russell took me too on our first date. Beautiful place, finest one in the Houston area as far as Movie houses are concerned.
I swear I'm really using this site to help key up my HTML skills, which as of right now are for the most part non- existent .. I'll get to that shortly, and to sharpen my 'voice', Lord knows I could use the practice. Most of everything I write in narrative to begin with, but come on! This is my head we are talking about, not one of my characters. Though that might leave us with far more interesting results.
Sorry to waste anyone's time. I promise something will come worth writing about. I'm sure there is so much out there. I just need to sum up the energy to find it. In other news, we are approaching the full moon, so anyone living with anyone from any other realm keep a sharp eye.. if you believe in that kind of thing of course. Fortunately for some of us, we don't really get to make a decision... For some, the 'Others' make their existence inescapably clear.
"There are things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. And we are the ones who bump back."-Dr. Broom
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
Saturday, July 24, 2004
By the way...
By The Way - almost forgot, finally had time to really start to play around...
Comments are open to anyone and everyone...
So Bring Them On....
If You Care Enough To Read - I Care Enough To Listen...
Cheers Darling's
Comments are open to anyone and everyone...
So Bring Them On....
If You Care Enough To Read - I Care Enough To Listen...
Cheers Darling's
Concerns Left Behind
It's happened again... My hands are tied once more. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't play the WHAT IF game. It's a waste of time and the fastest road to a suicidal depression. Of which I've avoided as of the time being, I doubt I'll go to that point - In fact I know I wont. On a personal level - for the moment I have no real purpose. I get up, go to work and/or sit down for some freelance work, I clean house, I watch some TV - I used to never watch TV this much - I get depressed over something and go to bed. Oh yeah, I'm also in a dry spell. It's a stage you reach when you still feel pain and hurt and... and everything but good, because lets face it there is no getting back to good and as far as life, I'll give it a try, but lets face it I'll never be ready again, Hell the day I'm ready is the day I die - so I'll try, but there is no ready to like there is no getting back to good. The waves have all but drowned me now.
Yesterday I got a peek into the soul of a man who's lost the same person I have. A man he considered a brother - a second little brother - This lose has brought him to the realization he is actually capable of hating someone. Actually two people if not more, but two I know are ranking number one on his brand new list of human emotion. But all this I knew before yesterday. He's a Leo, He suffers for the most part alone. When I see him we may talk lightly about Russell (the brother.. The love.. The loss) but for the most part any subject is avoided. Mostly out of respect for each other. He's a Leo and I'm a Capricorn - we suffer differently, but we suffer the same. Curse and Gift. Each sign has a unique way of handling every emotion, be it happiness or grief. Earth and Fire signs can be very much alike - despite how much we may not want to admit it. Like water and air.
Still yesterday, what I read.. What I saw... Is This man, breaking - no crumbling down. And not for the first time and never the last, but this time is different. This time he voiced his suffering in a way only a creative soul such as his can. And believe me - I would give anything for his 'voice'. I can write fiction well enough - but when it comes to the real stuff.. This stuff. Well Love me or Hate me, read me or ignore me - when it comes to his 'voice' we should all be so lucky. Leo's are good at that - so are Piceans. When they write you read, like Geminis - when they act you watch, Libra's when they speak, you listen. Scorpio's when they give and order or call for attention, you notice - you may not follow through, after all they are normally the perfect person for 'the job', not you and they make terrible Generals.
Moving on, I feel like my hands are tied again. They were tied when my love laid there choking on his own blood, when he died. They were and still are tied when it comes to standing on the edge of news that could help to not take away or lighten, but maybe ease the grief or at least distract it for Parents who've lost their only son, for a Sister and ring of cousins who've lost a man they grew up with, who had only really just started to grow into the great man he was when he died. For a small 'crew' of men who lost a 'brother' and a corner stone. And now they are tied again... One of his best friends is suffering. A man, who I admit I relate to.. I may be the only one who thinks this way. Fine if I am. I know I was closer to Russell then many people may have ever known. In a short time that man became my world and I know how he felt. I can't say he was always an honest person, who is? But True? Unlike any other - I know how he felt, and I know I had privilege to see a side of Russell that very few were ever invited to see, The man who suffers greatly now, is one of the few and probably one of only two, who reached such an extent thanks to time had and spent.
I'm still to entirely new to the 'crew'.. If I can even be considered a 'mate' now or ever to reach out and say... I don't know - Thank You? I mean my words forsake me even now! My hands are tied once more, my writs burn, and ring with red.
Whaterver Tomorrow Brings.... Spiral Out.... Wave On....
I don't play the WHAT IF game. It's a waste of time and the fastest road to a suicidal depression. Of which I've avoided as of the time being, I doubt I'll go to that point - In fact I know I wont. On a personal level - for the moment I have no real purpose. I get up, go to work and/or sit down for some freelance work, I clean house, I watch some TV - I used to never watch TV this much - I get depressed over something and go to bed. Oh yeah, I'm also in a dry spell. It's a stage you reach when you still feel pain and hurt and... and everything but good, because lets face it there is no getting back to good and as far as life, I'll give it a try, but lets face it I'll never be ready again, Hell the day I'm ready is the day I die - so I'll try, but there is no ready to like there is no getting back to good. The waves have all but drowned me now.
Yesterday I got a peek into the soul of a man who's lost the same person I have. A man he considered a brother - a second little brother - This lose has brought him to the realization he is actually capable of hating someone. Actually two people if not more, but two I know are ranking number one on his brand new list of human emotion. But all this I knew before yesterday. He's a Leo, He suffers for the most part alone. When I see him we may talk lightly about Russell (the brother.. The love.. The loss) but for the most part any subject is avoided. Mostly out of respect for each other. He's a Leo and I'm a Capricorn - we suffer differently, but we suffer the same. Curse and Gift. Each sign has a unique way of handling every emotion, be it happiness or grief. Earth and Fire signs can be very much alike - despite how much we may not want to admit it. Like water and air.
Still yesterday, what I read.. What I saw... Is This man, breaking - no crumbling down. And not for the first time and never the last, but this time is different. This time he voiced his suffering in a way only a creative soul such as his can. And believe me - I would give anything for his 'voice'. I can write fiction well enough - but when it comes to the real stuff.. This stuff. Well Love me or Hate me, read me or ignore me - when it comes to his 'voice' we should all be so lucky. Leo's are good at that - so are Piceans. When they write you read, like Geminis - when they act you watch, Libra's when they speak, you listen. Scorpio's when they give and order or call for attention, you notice - you may not follow through, after all they are normally the perfect person for 'the job', not you and they make terrible Generals.
Moving on, I feel like my hands are tied again. They were tied when my love laid there choking on his own blood, when he died. They were and still are tied when it comes to standing on the edge of news that could help to not take away or lighten, but maybe ease the grief or at least distract it for Parents who've lost their only son, for a Sister and ring of cousins who've lost a man they grew up with, who had only really just started to grow into the great man he was when he died. For a small 'crew' of men who lost a 'brother' and a corner stone. And now they are tied again... One of his best friends is suffering. A man, who I admit I relate to.. I may be the only one who thinks this way. Fine if I am. I know I was closer to Russell then many people may have ever known. In a short time that man became my world and I know how he felt. I can't say he was always an honest person, who is? But True? Unlike any other - I know how he felt, and I know I had privilege to see a side of Russell that very few were ever invited to see, The man who suffers greatly now, is one of the few and probably one of only two, who reached such an extent thanks to time had and spent.
I'm still to entirely new to the 'crew'.. If I can even be considered a 'mate' now or ever to reach out and say... I don't know - Thank You? I mean my words forsake me even now! My hands are tied once more, my writs burn, and ring with red.
Whaterver Tomorrow Brings.... Spiral Out.... Wave On....
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Live In the Houston Area???? Heads Up! #1
There was a Crime Stoppers Conferance to day (see first paragraph last post) and I finally got some news on what went on during it and if you live in the Greater Houston area then keep reading on.
First Off, Details can all be found at:
HERE
and
HERE
Second: There's a $5,000 reward for information leading to their arrest.
If you do see anyone that looks like them, (especially if they're driving a blue/green Chevy compact car, or if one of them is wearing a towel around their neck), Call (713) 222-TIPS. So, please check your news tonight for updates, security camera pictures of them and their car.
If not for the sake of helping to solve a serious murder crime, and if not for the money - The at least for helping to further releave the enternal suffering and grife that everyone who knew the vitim is currently experincing, family and friends.
First Off, Details can all be found at:
HERE
and
HERE
Second: There's a $5,000 reward for information leading to their arrest.
If you do see anyone that looks like them, (especially if they're driving a blue/green Chevy compact car, or if one of them is wearing a towel around their neck), Call (713) 222-TIPS. So, please check your news tonight for updates, security camera pictures of them and their car.
If not for the sake of helping to solve a serious murder crime, and if not for the money - The at least for helping to further releave the enternal suffering and grife that everyone who knew the vitim is currently experincing, family and friends.
I-Robot
I figured I should do this before the waves really start coming around. There's another media release hitting the local news stations today/night dealing with the case and serving in hope of helping to bring in tips from witnesses (assuming there might actually be someone else) or whatever anyone has to offer in relation to finding these bastards who stole not only a wallet that could not have possessed more then 40 dollars, a cell phone and a life - and by life I mean an ONLY Son, a Brother, a Friend for many lives, a Student, a Hard Worker, a Comedian, a Vibrant, Brilliant, intelligent, passionate, Creative, Never wasted a moment of his life and truly helped others enjoy there's to an extent some would not believe. And the list may grow longer in a week or two. I mean I've left out allot and there still maybe more left to discover.... You get the idea.
The Following is a quick review on I-Robot; (it will be followed with a short rant on how I ended up seeing I-Robot instead of Cat Woman)
I can't sit here and say I-Robot is the worst movie I have ever seen... I might compare it a bit to the third Matrix Movie; Revolution, but in all honesty it's still ranks below that and a few other movies on my top 10 worst list. I might post that one day, expect I-Robot to make #10, unless I make a top 20, then maybe only a #15. Anyways, I-Robot is a creative, not necessarily good, but very creative furtuistic movie that stars Will Smith, duh. Who plays the main character, Detective Spooner. As some of you may have guessed in his usual style, Smith's character is yet again, the odd man out, who in the end is the right man for the job (reference Wild Wild West and MIB) I don't want to give away to much of the story, but I will say it has a happy ending, though personaly I feel if the movie had ended about 10 or 15 minutes before it actually did... I wasn't timing the film, I had a watch, but at that point my eyes jumped between the screen and J.S., who seemed to experience some 'bad movie nausea' - I assume, given the fact that he kept the gigantic tub, half way full of popcorn clutched in his hands, just in case the ending really did go to far. For his review click HERE. - But anyways if it had ended just about 10 minutes sooner, I may have been able to leave thinking "I'm a Will Smith Fan, so I can say that is one of his worst movies. Sure the acting wasn't bad, just the story. Over all the CGI was good - if you like that sort of thing, but it's not the worst movie I've sat through this year." But alas the movie kept going and it went a step to far with the climax, the happy 'Firends Hand Shake' between 'Sonny' and Spooner could have gone with out, but it didn't. And then it went about 3 more steps to far past to far. And so I can't. A few of the jokes - you know the one liners that make a Will Smith movie, a Will Smith Movie, like the soon to be very frequently quoted 'allergy BS' line along with the 'Told Ya So' line fell some what short of my expectations - but apparently no one elses as everyone laughed aloud as they were delivered with the Smith Style. Well every one else, excludes my self and J.S. - I may have enjoyed it just slightly more then him, or have seen far worse movies then he. I do admit the scene where Bridget Moynahan's character fires a 'big gun' at Spooner as he's being attacked with her eyes closed is kind of funny, my pick for the film at least. And finally in comparison to movies like The Hulk, and some Star Wars and Matrix sccens, I-Robot had very good CGI over all. Though being a fan of movies like Van Helsing and HellBoy, one can see my point of view where Computer Generated Imaging is concerned, special effects are an Art First, and computer program Last. Over all, I would give I-Robot 2 stars (**) because at least the people working on it did a fairly good job with the story they had to work with. For more information click HERE.
Following as stated:
One the other side of life, here's an idea on last nights trip to the movie went: I come home from work, I clean a little, I fall asleep for about an hour (I've been really tired as of late) wake up, take my shower and right as I'm getting out of the shower my phone rings. So I run to it, soaking wet with a towel wrapped - and I use that term loosely - around me, answering the phone about a half-a-ring before my answering machine would. It's 'Alpha Pirate/J.S.', which is really good, considering we had vaguely agreed to meet up for the sneak peek of Cat Woman, to which I had won tickets too and since our communications skills left us both kind of sitting at home last Saturday night instead of across town at the fish-fry like we thought we'd be, we decided that this would make a good 'make-up' for conversation sake. So after talking with him for a short while, where my absent minded nature really started to show it's klutzy face, we finally set a time and a place to meet. Here comes the fun part... I hang up, and begin to leave my room so I could blow dry my dripping wet hair, I only really make two steps if that before my foot lands on a thumb tack that apparently I didn't see for however long it's been on my floor - and yes it drives the 'tack' end down to the skin. Thank God for my bad luck, my child hood and young adult life has been littered with memories of fish hooks, tooth picks and even a wooden stake or two having to be pulled from the bottoms of my feet (yes I watch where I step, but some things aren't always easy to see) so pulling the tack out didn't really hurt. But tending to it and walking on it is where the pain comes in - I can only hope J.S. didn't fully notice any limping, that's a story I really didn't want to use as an opening 'Ello.
But I'm finally dry, dressed and out the door. And thanks to construction in Houston, there is not a single street where you wont encounter some kind of traffic, still some how I manage to reach the coffee shop with in 'said time frame. ' Some small talk, and we head out for the movies, arriving just shy of 30 minutes before show time. I knew we had to get there early, but I had no idea how many people were actually showing up. The line snaked around as if it were a new Star Wars or Matrix movie. And we had only reached the part of the line where we actually stood next to a vinal-rope, when the security at the very front of the line announced "Only Ten Seats Left!" ... So we of course turn and walk away. It didn't sound like the brightest idea DC has ever had and neither of us seemed completely level with the idea of the security check ahead of us anyways.
Still the evening didn't end there, we sat a spell to watch I-ROBOT... I haven't seen a movie that bad since the Third Matrix film.. But don't let my opinion stop you from seeing it. I will say this, I was a bit worried about not having much to really talk about with J.S., I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up, I admit there are certain people in this world I view as challenges, he's one of them. And after recent elevations with my stress levels, I wasn't sure I had the energy to hang out and converse with a Leo. But thanks to that movie, we had plenty to talk about! It was a short ride back to the coffee shop, but not quiet one. Though I did cut the evening off a bit short, skipping out on a last round of coffee, it was a long ride home all things considered and a scene in I-ROBOT had some memories vividly revisiting my conscious mind, what can I say sometimes make-up artist do a kick ass job where blood is concerned - long live corn syrup.
Go Home, Go To Bed, Wake Up, Go To Work, Run Errands, Go Back To Work and do it all while fighting of mild spats of depression and some mild waves - in retrospect. Belive me, I left allot out about the evening... Maybe if I get really board I'll come back - add and edit.
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
The Following is a quick review on I-Robot; (it will be followed with a short rant on how I ended up seeing I-Robot instead of Cat Woman)
I can't sit here and say I-Robot is the worst movie I have ever seen... I might compare it a bit to the third Matrix Movie; Revolution, but in all honesty it's still ranks below that and a few other movies on my top 10 worst list. I might post that one day, expect I-Robot to make #10, unless I make a top 20, then maybe only a #15. Anyways, I-Robot is a creative, not necessarily good, but very creative furtuistic movie that stars Will Smith, duh. Who plays the main character, Detective Spooner. As some of you may have guessed in his usual style, Smith's character is yet again, the odd man out, who in the end is the right man for the job (reference Wild Wild West and MIB) I don't want to give away to much of the story, but I will say it has a happy ending, though personaly I feel if the movie had ended about 10 or 15 minutes before it actually did... I wasn't timing the film, I had a watch, but at that point my eyes jumped between the screen and J.S., who seemed to experience some 'bad movie nausea' - I assume, given the fact that he kept the gigantic tub, half way full of popcorn clutched in his hands, just in case the ending really did go to far. For his review click HERE. - But anyways if it had ended just about 10 minutes sooner, I may have been able to leave thinking "I'm a Will Smith Fan, so I can say that is one of his worst movies. Sure the acting wasn't bad, just the story. Over all the CGI was good - if you like that sort of thing, but it's not the worst movie I've sat through this year." But alas the movie kept going and it went a step to far with the climax, the happy 'Firends Hand Shake' between 'Sonny' and Spooner could have gone with out, but it didn't. And then it went about 3 more steps to far past to far. And so I can't. A few of the jokes - you know the one liners that make a Will Smith movie, a Will Smith Movie, like the soon to be very frequently quoted 'allergy BS' line along with the 'Told Ya So' line fell some what short of my expectations - but apparently no one elses as everyone laughed aloud as they were delivered with the Smith Style. Well every one else, excludes my self and J.S. - I may have enjoyed it just slightly more then him, or have seen far worse movies then he. I do admit the scene where Bridget Moynahan's character fires a 'big gun' at Spooner as he's being attacked with her eyes closed is kind of funny, my pick for the film at least. And finally in comparison to movies like The Hulk, and some Star Wars and Matrix sccens, I-Robot had very good CGI over all. Though being a fan of movies like Van Helsing and HellBoy, one can see my point of view where Computer Generated Imaging is concerned, special effects are an Art First, and computer program Last. Over all, I would give I-Robot 2 stars (**) because at least the people working on it did a fairly good job with the story they had to work with. For more information click HERE.
Following as stated:
One the other side of life, here's an idea on last nights trip to the movie went: I come home from work, I clean a little, I fall asleep for about an hour (I've been really tired as of late) wake up, take my shower and right as I'm getting out of the shower my phone rings. So I run to it, soaking wet with a towel wrapped - and I use that term loosely - around me, answering the phone about a half-a-ring before my answering machine would. It's 'Alpha Pirate/J.S.', which is really good, considering we had vaguely agreed to meet up for the sneak peek of Cat Woman, to which I had won tickets too and since our communications skills left us both kind of sitting at home last Saturday night instead of across town at the fish-fry like we thought we'd be, we decided that this would make a good 'make-up' for conversation sake. So after talking with him for a short while, where my absent minded nature really started to show it's klutzy face, we finally set a time and a place to meet. Here comes the fun part... I hang up, and begin to leave my room so I could blow dry my dripping wet hair, I only really make two steps if that before my foot lands on a thumb tack that apparently I didn't see for however long it's been on my floor - and yes it drives the 'tack' end down to the skin. Thank God for my bad luck, my child hood and young adult life has been littered with memories of fish hooks, tooth picks and even a wooden stake or two having to be pulled from the bottoms of my feet (yes I watch where I step, but some things aren't always easy to see) so pulling the tack out didn't really hurt. But tending to it and walking on it is where the pain comes in - I can only hope J.S. didn't fully notice any limping, that's a story I really didn't want to use as an opening 'Ello.
But I'm finally dry, dressed and out the door. And thanks to construction in Houston, there is not a single street where you wont encounter some kind of traffic, still some how I manage to reach the coffee shop with in 'said time frame. ' Some small talk, and we head out for the movies, arriving just shy of 30 minutes before show time. I knew we had to get there early, but I had no idea how many people were actually showing up. The line snaked around as if it were a new Star Wars or Matrix movie. And we had only reached the part of the line where we actually stood next to a vinal-rope, when the security at the very front of the line announced "Only Ten Seats Left!" ... So we of course turn and walk away. It didn't sound like the brightest idea DC has ever had and neither of us seemed completely level with the idea of the security check ahead of us anyways.
Still the evening didn't end there, we sat a spell to watch I-ROBOT... I haven't seen a movie that bad since the Third Matrix film.. But don't let my opinion stop you from seeing it. I will say this, I was a bit worried about not having much to really talk about with J.S., I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up, I admit there are certain people in this world I view as challenges, he's one of them. And after recent elevations with my stress levels, I wasn't sure I had the energy to hang out and converse with a Leo. But thanks to that movie, we had plenty to talk about! It was a short ride back to the coffee shop, but not quiet one. Though I did cut the evening off a bit short, skipping out on a last round of coffee, it was a long ride home all things considered and a scene in I-ROBOT had some memories vividly revisiting my conscious mind, what can I say sometimes make-up artist do a kick ass job where blood is concerned - long live corn syrup.
Go Home, Go To Bed, Wake Up, Go To Work, Run Errands, Go Back To Work and do it all while fighting of mild spats of depression and some mild waves - in retrospect. Belive me, I left allot out about the evening... Maybe if I get really board I'll come back - add and edit.
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Mental Image #1
Imagine this, if you will.. You spend your hole life in search of the rest of your life, for a visual we'll say that you wander around through a thick forest, and your searching for the path out. Now to make the image really stand out for you, lets say your in this thick forest, and the forest is like an island in the middle of a river so broad it make the Mississippi look like mason creek. But never fear because as your wondering through this forest, passing up one semi cleared path after another, till finally you come across not only the perfectly cleared path that you've been looking for, but it also leads to a sturdy cement bridge. Which is good, because other paths may lead to say rope or rotted wood bridges or just scary looking fits of carpentry that are all fogged over, so no clear path or reassurance of safety can be had.
So moving on you found your path, you've found your bridge, which leads to the lands that make up the rivers bank. The Thick forest island is your life so far, the clear river bank out of swimming reach is the rest of your life, the life you really really want, so badly you can taste it. And you finally after years of searching found the bridge you want to cross to get there. The right path, the rest of your life awaits. All you have to do is cross it.
So right as you reach about halfway across the bridge, it happens, desaster strikes, that which you feared and never dreamed of strikes with a fury that rivals none! And you look ahead of you, the rest of the bridge is gone, it shattered and dropped down into the river. The other half of the bridge behind you is cracked, not a single inch is sturdy enough to even blindly trust!
in-front of you, the river, your already half way across, so swimming seems possible, but no matter what, even if you reach the river bank, it's changed. You emerge from the cold ice waters and spend your life caring around a set of cold shocked lungs that will eventually be the death of you, but for now they would pain your for however long of a life you may have.
Behind you is an unsafe road, a forest you worked so hard to get away from, to go back would doom you to a life of walking around in circles.
So What Do You Do? ... You keep going....
NOW You might be wondering where did all that just come from???
Well that is pretty much the story that played out in my mind when a friend of my family asked me last night:
" Wasn't it kind of trippy? I mean I saw my father die - of course he was an old man - but I mean didn't it seem kind of weird?" She says with a smile on her face of 'oh my god... Isn't that even kind of cool'.
Keep in mind I recently lost a loved one, someone who was roughly about 24 years old a life ahead oh him, and what a life he had! And why she's asking me this, is because I had the experience of witnessing his death.
When she made her query, I was thrown off, not the first time since the incident, but one of the most unique times, that's for damn sure. And that image above, that little story, scenario played through my mind in a flash. When I witnessed what I did, when it happened, I didn't just see a very dear soul fading from our realm, I saw my life crumbling, down into the river. And days after, on second look, I saw where my life had crumbled into the river and I see what is left. Uncertainty, in short, and further more unappealing to the soul.
So What Do I Do.... I don't really answer the question.... And I slowly start to Spiral Out again, Keep Going...
Cheers Darlings'
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
So moving on you found your path, you've found your bridge, which leads to the lands that make up the rivers bank. The Thick forest island is your life so far, the clear river bank out of swimming reach is the rest of your life, the life you really really want, so badly you can taste it. And you finally after years of searching found the bridge you want to cross to get there. The right path, the rest of your life awaits. All you have to do is cross it.
So right as you reach about halfway across the bridge, it happens, desaster strikes, that which you feared and never dreamed of strikes with a fury that rivals none! And you look ahead of you, the rest of the bridge is gone, it shattered and dropped down into the river. The other half of the bridge behind you is cracked, not a single inch is sturdy enough to even blindly trust!
in-front of you, the river, your already half way across, so swimming seems possible, but no matter what, even if you reach the river bank, it's changed. You emerge from the cold ice waters and spend your life caring around a set of cold shocked lungs that will eventually be the death of you, but for now they would pain your for however long of a life you may have.
Behind you is an unsafe road, a forest you worked so hard to get away from, to go back would doom you to a life of walking around in circles.
So What Do You Do? ... You keep going....
NOW You might be wondering where did all that just come from???
Well that is pretty much the story that played out in my mind when a friend of my family asked me last night:
" Wasn't it kind of trippy? I mean I saw my father die - of course he was an old man - but I mean didn't it seem kind of weird?" She says with a smile on her face of 'oh my god... Isn't that even kind of cool'.
Keep in mind I recently lost a loved one, someone who was roughly about 24 years old a life ahead oh him, and what a life he had! And why she's asking me this, is because I had the experience of witnessing his death.
When she made her query, I was thrown off, not the first time since the incident, but one of the most unique times, that's for damn sure. And that image above, that little story, scenario played through my mind in a flash. When I witnessed what I did, when it happened, I didn't just see a very dear soul fading from our realm, I saw my life crumbling, down into the river. And days after, on second look, I saw where my life had crumbled into the river and I see what is left. Uncertainty, in short, and further more unappealing to the soul.
So What Do I Do.... I don't really answer the question.... And I slowly start to Spiral Out again, Keep Going...
Cheers Darlings'
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
Monday, July 19, 2004
I promise a rant, I deliver a theory
A THEORY.. Not a very serious one, but I figured I would share it with you while it's still rolling around in my head.
Most of the worlds most truly gifted writers have one thing in common; a tragic life.
Now, before I continue I will say this, I don't believe - and again, keep in mind faith and beliefs are two very different things, one can exist with out the other - That one person can have a harder life then another person, there is no such thing as a hard life or an easy life. Just different! Now I'm not going to lie to you and say that I haven't had times where I look at my life and listen to other people talk about there lives and I don't sometimes sit back and think, You Call That Hard? Oh man, let me tell you a thing or two... Or.... Wow, and I thought I had it bad. It's just a simple thought to keep in mind, helps to humble the soul. Still when you talk 'Difference' and you take out the degrees of endurance (hard and easy) what scale do you have left?
Well to answer that, and again this is answering that for me, every one is different, no answer is necessarily good enough for all. Still, for me, for my answer I am taken back to a night out at a Chilli's restaurant with two of my best friends and the man I love(d), My friend and I were talking about Hollywood Hotties (we only talk about two things; Guys and Music) and amongst the names like Hugh Jackman, Ben Affleck and such, Johnny Depp's name came up. A man best known for his role as Jack Sparrow in Pirate Of The Caribbean, now keep in mind again that the man who I love is sitting right next to me and he happens to be a 'Pirate' and the 'Jack Sparrow' of his 'Crew'. And it's no secret to him or anyone else that I have been glued to Johnny Depp movies since Edward Scissor Hands. And of course it came up, who is more handsome (in my book) Depp or the love of my life Reagan? My answer to him, my friend and her husband was this...
"I don't think of it as who's hotter on a League measurement Scale, more on a Fathom scale, so I mean neither is more handsome then the other."
Now if that isn't the biggest lie you've ever heard? Lets face it hands down in my book Reagan is tops, but to say that strokes his ego, which is fine most of the time, but this particular group, I have a reputation to keep up, and he knew this and he would have done the same.. Like who's hotter to him, Me, or Shirlley Manson? Stupid question, un real answer.. I hope.
So there you have it! Take away the scale of endurance (hard/easy) and your left with fathoms, lay it flat. Kind of like saying someone's just older.
Anyways, if your still reading this, then odds are I have already lost you, let me send up a flair!
Back to the THEORY; The best writers lead tragic lives, because they are very much the same kind of thrilling wordsmiths and story tellers on earth as they are on higher plains as their HIGHER SELF.
Anyone who knows anything about Metaphysics, especially the areas concerning ReGeneration/ReIncarnation should know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone who doesn't and cares to sit a spell with me, via e-mail, I'm always here to shoot around theory's and philosophy. But there you have it, My THEORY OF THE DAY, maybe it will hold more water for you then it currently dose for me.
On a side note; Being a great writer, dose not necessarily mean your a published writer, I've known a grandmoth father or two who tell some grand tales.
As Far As My Life? Outside of having dinner last night with Jonesy, which we went to TacoBell (our as usual) and finding it hard for a moment to find a place to sit, unsure if we should sit at either table we sat previously before with our good friend who we just laid into the grave with many others or if we should sit at a booth and play some harmless remember whens, which we did. At one point during our meal, a guy and two girls came in, one of the girls was MISS COMPLAINT, so we easedrop to her bitching over every little thing, from the seats, to the food, to only God knows what else. At one point, Jonesy and I are tempted to get up, tap them on the shoulder and say "Do you know your sitting where a dead guy sat?" It would be simply for the shock factor, a shut the HELL UP and realize there is more important things to concern with then your gordita and of course, in honor of our lost friend, what a hell of a laugh we'd get from the look on their faces. Of Course we don't, no not this time. Though next time they might not be so lucky. Macabre Humor All Around! I think next time I'll just insist on sitting at OUR booth. At least for thirty minutes a week or so, it will hold memories and respect and some wild jokes and the best remember whens talk you'll find this side of the Mississippi.
Outside of that, I just have to find someone to take to see the sneak peek of Cat Woman this Tuesday. I'm thinking one of the crew members, maybe the 'Alpha Pirate', make up for Saturday... what can I say, Misery Loves Company, and who am I to turn down a free movie? At least it gets me into the city for a night.
Cheers Darlings'
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
Most of the worlds most truly gifted writers have one thing in common; a tragic life.
Now, before I continue I will say this, I don't believe - and again, keep in mind faith and beliefs are two very different things, one can exist with out the other - That one person can have a harder life then another person, there is no such thing as a hard life or an easy life. Just different! Now I'm not going to lie to you and say that I haven't had times where I look at my life and listen to other people talk about there lives and I don't sometimes sit back and think, You Call That Hard? Oh man, let me tell you a thing or two... Or.... Wow, and I thought I had it bad. It's just a simple thought to keep in mind, helps to humble the soul. Still when you talk 'Difference' and you take out the degrees of endurance (hard and easy) what scale do you have left?
Well to answer that, and again this is answering that for me, every one is different, no answer is necessarily good enough for all. Still, for me, for my answer I am taken back to a night out at a Chilli's restaurant with two of my best friends and the man I love(d), My friend and I were talking about Hollywood Hotties (we only talk about two things; Guys and Music) and amongst the names like Hugh Jackman, Ben Affleck and such, Johnny Depp's name came up. A man best known for his role as Jack Sparrow in Pirate Of The Caribbean, now keep in mind again that the man who I love is sitting right next to me and he happens to be a 'Pirate' and the 'Jack Sparrow' of his 'Crew'. And it's no secret to him or anyone else that I have been glued to Johnny Depp movies since Edward Scissor Hands. And of course it came up, who is more handsome (in my book) Depp or the love of my life Reagan? My answer to him, my friend and her husband was this...
"I don't think of it as who's hotter on a League measurement Scale, more on a Fathom scale, so I mean neither is more handsome then the other."
Now if that isn't the biggest lie you've ever heard? Lets face it hands down in my book Reagan is tops, but to say that strokes his ego, which is fine most of the time, but this particular group, I have a reputation to keep up, and he knew this and he would have done the same.. Like who's hotter to him, Me, or Shirlley Manson? Stupid question, un real answer.. I hope.
So there you have it! Take away the scale of endurance (hard/easy) and your left with fathoms, lay it flat. Kind of like saying someone's just older.
Anyways, if your still reading this, then odds are I have already lost you, let me send up a flair!
Back to the THEORY; The best writers lead tragic lives, because they are very much the same kind of thrilling wordsmiths and story tellers on earth as they are on higher plains as their HIGHER SELF.
Anyone who knows anything about Metaphysics, especially the areas concerning ReGeneration/ReIncarnation should know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone who doesn't and cares to sit a spell with me, via e-mail, I'm always here to shoot around theory's and philosophy. But there you have it, My THEORY OF THE DAY, maybe it will hold more water for you then it currently dose for me.
On a side note; Being a great writer, dose not necessarily mean your a published writer, I've known a grandmoth father or two who tell some grand tales.
As Far As My Life? Outside of having dinner last night with Jonesy, which we went to TacoBell (our as usual) and finding it hard for a moment to find a place to sit, unsure if we should sit at either table we sat previously before with our good friend who we just laid into the grave with many others or if we should sit at a booth and play some harmless remember whens, which we did. At one point during our meal, a guy and two girls came in, one of the girls was MISS COMPLAINT, so we easedrop to her bitching over every little thing, from the seats, to the food, to only God knows what else. At one point, Jonesy and I are tempted to get up, tap them on the shoulder and say "Do you know your sitting where a dead guy sat?" It would be simply for the shock factor, a shut the HELL UP and realize there is more important things to concern with then your gordita and of course, in honor of our lost friend, what a hell of a laugh we'd get from the look on their faces. Of Course we don't, no not this time. Though next time they might not be so lucky. Macabre Humor All Around! I think next time I'll just insist on sitting at OUR booth. At least for thirty minutes a week or so, it will hold memories and respect and some wild jokes and the best remember whens talk you'll find this side of the Mississippi.
Outside of that, I just have to find someone to take to see the sneak peek of Cat Woman this Tuesday. I'm thinking one of the crew members, maybe the 'Alpha Pirate', make up for Saturday... what can I say, Misery Loves Company, and who am I to turn down a free movie? At least it gets me into the city for a night.
Cheers Darlings'
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Yesterdays Forecast
So Far, So Good...
This morning I'm capable of waking up and breathing, and I must say it's nice. My room smells of Rose, jasmine and my favorite scent of all right now Pirate. Macabre? Maybe, but for a change it didn't stop me right in my tracks, so it's safe to possibly forecast calm seas today. It comes in waves, so you can imagine the fight to keep my head above water. So today with any luck will be all about Spiraling Out and Waving On... Lost Already? Don't feel bad, the truly blessed are those who walk through life, only really found by what is omniptitent, but hardly there.... See you just thought you were lost before.
*Sighs* Still all hopes aside for today, I'm not here to talk about today. I'm here to talk about yesterday. Imagine me, actually using my online journal, like a journal! She can Be Taught!
I wake up yesterday, long after the sun, and for someone who sees over 290 sunrises a year.. I'm not about to listen to any up with the sun BS on a Saturday. I go about my chores at home, do a little writing. I even sketch a little, haven't done that since even before his death (the most recent tragedy). So all and all, yesterday started out like today, calmer seas for a change. And then it happens, I get a letter in the mail; heart felt, truthfully and yes I will cherish it for the rest of my life, but that all aside, it still stopped me dead in my tracks and I was hit by one of the tallest waves to come this week. Still it wasn't a sunami, those have subsided a bit, but I'm sure I haven't seen the last of them... I recovered and continued on my day. What was left of it.
I was supposed to spend the evening with the 'Alpha Pirate', over a fish-fry. Keeping in mind the AlphaPirate doesn't eat any sea food... Though it was a rainbow or speckled trout - fresh water, so I'm not sure if that still count against his pallet, maybe I'll enquire another time, but for now, It was a coarse set for a meal sure to leave a few hungry. I happen to like most fish, fresh water especially, but I'm sure the evening would have ended with coffee and a crosant of some sort. Still getting around to the supposed to, the evening fell flat. Due to communication problems, a bit on both our ends if you ask me. Now I know the saying is 'Communication make the world go round', but not even this is enough to change one of my points of view, that sometimes communication is just over rated. But then again on the other hand, if your reading this, then that means I typed this, so what can I say? (see first paragraph or two of the second post, for quick run over on how my world works)
In the end I actually enjoyed, somewhat spending the evening with my folks, just running odd errands and ending up out Columbus way, around midnight. Just driving by an old house we once upon a time tried to buy. Way back then the house was in wreck like fashion and the foundation was leaning, so finance people just got a really good laugh at us. Anyways some Lucky family got a hold of it and now it's hardly recognizable, what with the 2 to 4 foot tall weeds all nicely mowed away. It was a nice drive none-the-less. Still as soon as work picks up steam again and I have 'The Pearl' in my name, I'm sure I'll be sailing the paved seas a bit solo, at least where family is concerned, a girls gotta have her sanity. Even if there is a capital IN before it form time to time.... yes I know, I'm ranting again.
I'll leave you with that and continue about my day. There are questions to ponder, people to see, places to go, songs and stories to write, web sites to design, left overs of a life to live... you know the usual. I'll pop back on and up date you on how accurate my forecast was. And yes for those who don't like to read about my life, I'll think up some juicy rants that even the most amused reader can sit a spell with. Till then if your surfing the triple W (world Wide Web) and have absolutely nothing better to do with you time then here is a site to poke about at...
http://weirdhappeningsorg.com
Check out the good looking guy on the ABOUT US page. A pirate and a good man. Eternal one way or the other.
Till Next Time Folks!
Whatever Tomorrow Brings.... Spiral Out.... Wave On....
This morning I'm capable of waking up and breathing, and I must say it's nice. My room smells of Rose, jasmine and my favorite scent of all right now Pirate. Macabre? Maybe, but for a change it didn't stop me right in my tracks, so it's safe to possibly forecast calm seas today. It comes in waves, so you can imagine the fight to keep my head above water. So today with any luck will be all about Spiraling Out and Waving On... Lost Already? Don't feel bad, the truly blessed are those who walk through life, only really found by what is omniptitent, but hardly there.... See you just thought you were lost before.
*Sighs* Still all hopes aside for today, I'm not here to talk about today. I'm here to talk about yesterday. Imagine me, actually using my online journal, like a journal! She can Be Taught!
I wake up yesterday, long after the sun, and for someone who sees over 290 sunrises a year.. I'm not about to listen to any up with the sun BS on a Saturday. I go about my chores at home, do a little writing. I even sketch a little, haven't done that since even before his death (the most recent tragedy). So all and all, yesterday started out like today, calmer seas for a change. And then it happens, I get a letter in the mail; heart felt, truthfully and yes I will cherish it for the rest of my life, but that all aside, it still stopped me dead in my tracks and I was hit by one of the tallest waves to come this week. Still it wasn't a sunami, those have subsided a bit, but I'm sure I haven't seen the last of them... I recovered and continued on my day. What was left of it.
I was supposed to spend the evening with the 'Alpha Pirate', over a fish-fry. Keeping in mind the AlphaPirate doesn't eat any sea food... Though it was a rainbow or speckled trout - fresh water, so I'm not sure if that still count against his pallet, maybe I'll enquire another time, but for now, It was a coarse set for a meal sure to leave a few hungry. I happen to like most fish, fresh water especially, but I'm sure the evening would have ended with coffee and a crosant of some sort. Still getting around to the supposed to, the evening fell flat. Due to communication problems, a bit on both our ends if you ask me. Now I know the saying is 'Communication make the world go round', but not even this is enough to change one of my points of view, that sometimes communication is just over rated. But then again on the other hand, if your reading this, then that means I typed this, so what can I say? (see first paragraph or two of the second post, for quick run over on how my world works)
In the end I actually enjoyed, somewhat spending the evening with my folks, just running odd errands and ending up out Columbus way, around midnight. Just driving by an old house we once upon a time tried to buy. Way back then the house was in wreck like fashion and the foundation was leaning, so finance people just got a really good laugh at us. Anyways some Lucky family got a hold of it and now it's hardly recognizable, what with the 2 to 4 foot tall weeds all nicely mowed away. It was a nice drive none-the-less. Still as soon as work picks up steam again and I have 'The Pearl' in my name, I'm sure I'll be sailing the paved seas a bit solo, at least where family is concerned, a girls gotta have her sanity. Even if there is a capital IN before it form time to time.... yes I know, I'm ranting again.
I'll leave you with that and continue about my day. There are questions to ponder, people to see, places to go, songs and stories to write, web sites to design, left overs of a life to live... you know the usual. I'll pop back on and up date you on how accurate my forecast was. And yes for those who don't like to read about my life, I'll think up some juicy rants that even the most amused reader can sit a spell with. Till then if your surfing the triple W (world Wide Web) and have absolutely nothing better to do with you time then here is a site to poke about at...
http://weirdhappeningsorg.com
Check out the good looking guy on the ABOUT US page. A pirate and a good man. Eternal one way or the other.
Till Next Time Folks!
Whatever Tomorrow Brings.... Spiral Out.... Wave On....
Friday, July 16, 2004
It's All About The Reasons...
First Thing First...
If You Read This Stuff Long Enough (this stuff: my rants) Your will find I have tendencies to contradict myself. But I promise each and everyone of anyone who may actually read this one day that if you stick around long enough and read carefully, In the end - Before it is all over everything will fall straight. I refuse to die a hypocrite! Now With That Said, Moving On..
Anyone who really, truly knows anything about me, knows that my life hasn't always been the box of chocolates. Of course on that same term... Who's Has? And for anyone who knows two pennies worth on astrology, knows that my birthday, January Nineteenth - well I really should have seen most of everything coming. Silly me for letting anything blindside me anymore. AND anyone who knows me, and I mean really, really knows me - Past the bone marrow into the soul knows me... And to clear this part up, I can count on one hand the number of people who do... Knows that not only has my life been a test of Faith time and time again, but it's a test that I have come through on time and time again. Though I will admit, it's taken time, but as I get older, I find it much easier to come through. Mostly due to the fact that as I get older, my thirst for study has become dryer with each day and there for it requires more knowledge to quench it.
Anyways, What I'm really getting at here is this.. Like I've mentioned, I have recently (yet again) Lost someone who in so little time not only changed my world, but someone who I fell deeply in Love with. Someone who touched the lives of countless others, a true masterpiece of any creators work. A Man like no other. A man who was taken by a very stupid, senseless act of violence. Over roughly about 20 to 40 dollars and a cell phone. BEFORE he died, a question came into my mind, a really big WHAT IF?, but a very coviceable, possible what if. I want so badly to type right now what that question is, but I can't, not yet. But when I know for sure, it will be up here in bold!
So - Now, The problem I'm having - and this is where the rants about FAITH come in - Is that due to the nature of the question and the confusing and frustrating ways our bodies work and the very, very mysterious ways 'The Power (s)' work (If you believe in God or that sort of thing) I'm am stuck in a place, in a space of time where I wont know anything for sure, Set In Solid Stone, for another 10 days or so. Now I'm a very patient person, 10 more days under normal circumstances can simply be a cake walk, but these are not normal circumstances. Let Me Break This Down For You....
The Majority of the population agrees, one door dose not shut with out another opening. The next 10 days will pass and after words a question will be answered. If The answer begins with a 'P', it will come as one of the greatest gifts of this year to what is only a small handful of people, but these people make up my universe and this is still my page. More so in the light of such a recent tragedy - the flowers are still on his grave. Plus it would be the grand and final bow-out for a man, who did everything - I mean eat, sleeped, lived and breathed STYLE! But if the answer begins with an 'N', Most see it as no harm, no foul. Most don't even know the question exists. So really what you don't know, wont hurt you kind of case. But for me it leaves me still searching for that 'Opened Door'. I've learned from past experinces, to Never ask Why. If you are a person who believes in the Bible (which I am) and hold very strong convictions of faith (which I do), then you know it's wise not to ask why, because if we do and if we actually get an answer back, so long as we live and breathe here, the answer may/will never be good enough. Just stand back, accept what happens to you and keep looking for the open door, taking on the waves - Wave On. NOW the problem I'm having here, is I'm not asking why, I'm keeping my Faith - but when someone asks me why I am keeping this faith, I'm left with out very many reasons, as to why. At least nothing earth shattering, nothing more then the obvious, no special story to tell those who are looking for that one story. I have not one personal tool to witness with.
So Over The Next Ten Days, I'm TORTURED With The Simple Phrase - WHY NOT?
In the End, I Know I'll Have My Reasons...
But for now; I'm miss him so much... I'm voided, waiting on further purpose... I found my life, just in time to watch it and hold it as the soul faded from it... I loved him so much... I still love him...
It comes in waves
Whatever tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out.... Wave On.
http://www.weirdhappeningsorg.com/About_us
CHECK IT OUT... SCROLL DOWN...
If You Read This Stuff Long Enough (this stuff: my rants) Your will find I have tendencies to contradict myself. But I promise each and everyone of anyone who may actually read this one day that if you stick around long enough and read carefully, In the end - Before it is all over everything will fall straight. I refuse to die a hypocrite! Now With That Said, Moving On..
Anyone who really, truly knows anything about me, knows that my life hasn't always been the box of chocolates. Of course on that same term... Who's Has? And for anyone who knows two pennies worth on astrology, knows that my birthday, January Nineteenth - well I really should have seen most of everything coming. Silly me for letting anything blindside me anymore. AND anyone who knows me, and I mean really, really knows me - Past the bone marrow into the soul knows me... And to clear this part up, I can count on one hand the number of people who do... Knows that not only has my life been a test of Faith time and time again, but it's a test that I have come through on time and time again. Though I will admit, it's taken time, but as I get older, I find it much easier to come through. Mostly due to the fact that as I get older, my thirst for study has become dryer with each day and there for it requires more knowledge to quench it.
Anyways, What I'm really getting at here is this.. Like I've mentioned, I have recently (yet again) Lost someone who in so little time not only changed my world, but someone who I fell deeply in Love with. Someone who touched the lives of countless others, a true masterpiece of any creators work. A Man like no other. A man who was taken by a very stupid, senseless act of violence. Over roughly about 20 to 40 dollars and a cell phone. BEFORE he died, a question came into my mind, a really big WHAT IF?, but a very coviceable, possible what if. I want so badly to type right now what that question is, but I can't, not yet. But when I know for sure, it will be up here in bold!
So - Now, The problem I'm having - and this is where the rants about FAITH come in - Is that due to the nature of the question and the confusing and frustrating ways our bodies work and the very, very mysterious ways 'The Power (s)' work (If you believe in God or that sort of thing) I'm am stuck in a place, in a space of time where I wont know anything for sure, Set In Solid Stone, for another 10 days or so. Now I'm a very patient person, 10 more days under normal circumstances can simply be a cake walk, but these are not normal circumstances. Let Me Break This Down For You....
The Majority of the population agrees, one door dose not shut with out another opening. The next 10 days will pass and after words a question will be answered. If The answer begins with a 'P', it will come as one of the greatest gifts of this year to what is only a small handful of people, but these people make up my universe and this is still my page. More so in the light of such a recent tragedy - the flowers are still on his grave. Plus it would be the grand and final bow-out for a man, who did everything - I mean eat, sleeped, lived and breathed STYLE! But if the answer begins with an 'N', Most see it as no harm, no foul. Most don't even know the question exists. So really what you don't know, wont hurt you kind of case. But for me it leaves me still searching for that 'Opened Door'. I've learned from past experinces, to Never ask Why. If you are a person who believes in the Bible (which I am) and hold very strong convictions of faith (which I do), then you know it's wise not to ask why, because if we do and if we actually get an answer back, so long as we live and breathe here, the answer may/will never be good enough. Just stand back, accept what happens to you and keep looking for the open door, taking on the waves - Wave On. NOW the problem I'm having here, is I'm not asking why, I'm keeping my Faith - but when someone asks me why I am keeping this faith, I'm left with out very many reasons, as to why. At least nothing earth shattering, nothing more then the obvious, no special story to tell those who are looking for that one story. I have not one personal tool to witness with.
So Over The Next Ten Days, I'm TORTURED With The Simple Phrase - WHY NOT?
In the End, I Know I'll Have My Reasons...
But for now; I'm miss him so much... I'm voided, waiting on further purpose... I found my life, just in time to watch it and hold it as the soul faded from it... I loved him so much... I still love him...
It comes in waves
Whatever tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out.... Wave On.
http://www.weirdhappeningsorg.com/About_us
CHECK IT OUT... SCROLL DOWN...
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Why Me? Why Now? Why This? - Why Not?
This goes against just about everything I've ever believed in where the internet is concerned. (Keeping in mind belief and faith are two very different things) I've known many people who have done this sort of thing, and I have spent many hours reading what they've pulled from their inner-most souls and typed out and slapped on the world wide web, for all the world to see. Why would I waste time on such sites? Because it for some reason or another means something to those who take the time to create it and lord knows I'm sure I've put them through similar trials.
So that said Why am I doing This? After spending years researching Astrology (and Theology), living with a mother who's math skills surpass my own mathematical (a natural for numerology) and not to mention having a roller coaster of Tragedy and Joy for my life. I figured maybe something I'd have to say might actually bring benefit to someone else other then my self. If I'm wrong.. Well then I'll have fun in my own little world, it's ok because like the t-shirt says 'They Know Me Here'.
Why Now? I just recently lost yet another person who I held dear to me. I wont go into any details now, but trust me after the short time I spent with him, the things he showed me, the person inside me he helped me to become better acquainted with - I just can't see the sense in letting my conscious and subconscious ramblings stay just to me, my self and I. Simply seems a waste of a perfectly brilliant (good) or perfectly crazy mind. Which of the two, if for you the reader to decide.
Why Me? Now here comes a challenge; How Can I actually answer this question with out coming off as an egotistical, Self-Centered, conceited B****? Well, Here goes nothing. I've been told my entire life be people who range anywhere from Family and Friend to total Stranger that I'm usually the exception that proves the rule. A Unique soul, if they ever knew one and that hasn't always been said in a complimentary fashion. I admit, I've meet a good number of interesting people in my 20 years on earth. But until recently, I had yet to meet someone who is hands down, considered to be as unique as I am, if not far more by everyone who knows me. Recently I found that person and I lost him all to quickly. It's a bloody shame the rest of the entire world didn't get to know him, truly the majority was robbed the night he died. Now in respect for this Unique Soul, I can't send out what made him so amazing, so passionate and so creative. But I can send out what he left behind him, Me and many others like me. And if ever they wish I will send out whatever they wish for them, but for now since this is a new site I can send out me.
Well World I Hope You Are Ready.... I Hope you are interested... Or at least board enough to spend some time reading. If not, then like I said, they know me here.
Before I leave you (work has still to be done) I wish to say a few simple words (yes more):
The purpose of life is this (at least so it's been revealed to me, lets face one fact alone - it's different for everyone) To spend life living, and your mind pondering the Five questions of Faith: The difference between: Soul and Spirit, Fate and destiny. And trying to wrap your mind around 'Free Will' may waste your life away, but to arrive at answer that suits you, as in the individual you are, that answer alone is worth mountains of gold.
I've found my answers - one day I might share them with you all - until then, give it a try, it's got to be better then old sitcom reruns.
So that said Why am I doing This? After spending years researching Astrology (and Theology), living with a mother who's math skills surpass my own mathematical (a natural for numerology) and not to mention having a roller coaster of Tragedy and Joy for my life. I figured maybe something I'd have to say might actually bring benefit to someone else other then my self. If I'm wrong.. Well then I'll have fun in my own little world, it's ok because like the t-shirt says 'They Know Me Here'.
Why Now? I just recently lost yet another person who I held dear to me. I wont go into any details now, but trust me after the short time I spent with him, the things he showed me, the person inside me he helped me to become better acquainted with - I just can't see the sense in letting my conscious and subconscious ramblings stay just to me, my self and I. Simply seems a waste of a perfectly brilliant (good) or perfectly crazy mind. Which of the two, if for you the reader to decide.
Why Me? Now here comes a challenge; How Can I actually answer this question with out coming off as an egotistical, Self-Centered, conceited B****? Well, Here goes nothing. I've been told my entire life be people who range anywhere from Family and Friend to total Stranger that I'm usually the exception that proves the rule. A Unique soul, if they ever knew one and that hasn't always been said in a complimentary fashion. I admit, I've meet a good number of interesting people in my 20 years on earth. But until recently, I had yet to meet someone who is hands down, considered to be as unique as I am, if not far more by everyone who knows me. Recently I found that person and I lost him all to quickly. It's a bloody shame the rest of the entire world didn't get to know him, truly the majority was robbed the night he died. Now in respect for this Unique Soul, I can't send out what made him so amazing, so passionate and so creative. But I can send out what he left behind him, Me and many others like me. And if ever they wish I will send out whatever they wish for them, but for now since this is a new site I can send out me.
Well World I Hope You Are Ready.... I Hope you are interested... Or at least board enough to spend some time reading. If not, then like I said, they know me here.
Before I leave you (work has still to be done) I wish to say a few simple words (yes more):
The purpose of life is this (at least so it's been revealed to me, lets face one fact alone - it's different for everyone) To spend life living, and your mind pondering the Five questions of Faith: The difference between: Soul and Spirit, Fate and destiny. And trying to wrap your mind around 'Free Will' may waste your life away, but to arrive at answer that suits you, as in the individual you are, that answer alone is worth mountains of gold.
I've found my answers - one day I might share them with you all - until then, give it a try, it's got to be better then old sitcom reruns.
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