i can't breathe

I just need to exist for a little while somehwere , where everything moves, and lives and continues, and does so with litte or no effort of my own to keep it that way.

Sometimes I hate

Ok hate is a strong word, but being me istn't always a blasty blast, actually it rarely is, still every now and then something really incredible comes ito my world and things get interesting... Still lets not forget I'm Irish, and like an old SNL skit clearly states, though the phrase is 'Luck Of The Irish' it's so raerly defins what kind of luck, for a nation of people almost wiped out by a patatoe fameon... more times then not it's bad luck... that and like I always say those who know me as black cat, have seen my luck in just such action...
So whats going on now??
Well i've always been the acception that proves the rule, nothing changes by that. Finally something I actually want turns up, and I'm to grounded in my way and reasons to actually even express the fact that I'll miss it when it's gone.

January

Hey, sorry I haven't been on much, not that anyone even reads this anymore, still I use this site to link some of my Myspace friends to an more deeper me....

Well not that I'm past december my 'shut down month' January is here and telling me to rise a shine again. And you know what that means, another Birthday, 23, and nother year to figure it all out.

So the FL and the Jersy thing fell through, no big surprise I guess... i'm still writting like crazy whenever I can, but work is really drowning me here. In march I'm going to be sitting down with some people trying to figure things out and get some plans together, I'm looking at the career courses out in Kilgore CC, even Nursing.... Seriously for what it would have cost me a year ago to become a Medical Asst. in 8 months, just about pays for my 2 years out here and I walk away with a full RN if I'm up for the challenge... God sent me out to Henderson for a reason, I might have to take that or a similar challeng.
Life is pretty much hell right now, but I'm pulling it together, or at least looking at a starting too. And it's 07' and odd year, I always do so much better on the odds I have a great hope for what lays ahead of me, but I am scared.

It's Strange, I'll never stop writting or when I have a computer working again, one of my own I mean, I'll never stop the presuit of a published career, but I want to spend these next 2 maybe 3 years helping myself, and if I can manage that much, I want to help others, be it a hospital here in east texas, or some remote part of the world where some small group of souls really need aide, I want to either Inspire, Inlighten or Help..... maybe this is the right course.