Mental Image #1

Imagine this, if you will.. You spend your hole life in search of the rest of your life, for a visual we'll say that you wander around through a thick forest, and your searching for the path out. Now to make the image really stand out for you, lets say your in this thick forest, and the forest is like an island in the middle of a river so broad it make the Mississippi look like mason creek. But never fear because as your wondering through this forest, passing up one semi cleared path after another, till finally you come across not only the perfectly cleared path that you've been looking for, but it also leads to a sturdy cement bridge. Which is good, because other paths may lead to say rope or rotted wood bridges or just scary looking fits of carpentry that are all fogged over, so no clear path or reassurance of safety can be had.
So moving on you found your path, you've found your bridge, which leads to the lands that make up the rivers bank. The Thick forest island is your life so far, the clear river bank out of swimming reach is the rest of your life, the life you really really want, so badly you can taste it. And you finally after years of searching found the bridge you want to cross to get there. The right path, the rest of your life awaits. All you have to do is cross it.
So right as you reach about halfway across the bridge, it happens, desaster strikes, that which you feared and never dreamed of strikes with a fury that rivals none! And you look ahead of you, the rest of the bridge is gone, it shattered and dropped down into the river. The other half of the bridge behind you is cracked, not a single inch is sturdy enough to even blindly trust!
in-front of you, the river, your already half way across, so swimming seems possible, but no matter what, even if you reach the river bank, it's changed. You emerge from the cold ice waters and spend your life caring around a set of cold shocked lungs that will eventually be the death of you, but for now they would pain your for however long of a life you may have.
Behind you is an unsafe road, a forest you worked so hard to get away from, to go back would doom you to a life of walking around in circles.
So What Do You Do? ... You keep going....
NOW You might be wondering where did all that just come from???
Well that is pretty much the story that played out in my mind when a friend of my family asked me last night:
" Wasn't it kind of trippy? I mean I saw my father die - of course he was an old man - but I mean didn't it seem kind of weird?" She says with a smile on her face of 'oh my god... Isn't that even kind of cool'.
Keep in mind I recently lost a loved one, someone who was roughly about 24 years old a life ahead oh him, and what a life he had! And why she's asking me this, is because I had the experience of witnessing his death.
When she made her query, I was thrown off, not the first time since the incident, but one of the most unique times, that's for damn sure. And that image above, that little story, scenario played through my mind in a flash. When I witnessed what I did, when it happened, I didn't just see a very dear soul fading from our realm, I saw my life crumbling, down into the river. And days after, on second look, I saw where my life had crumbled into the river and I see what is left. Uncertainty, in short, and further more unappealing to the soul.
So What Do I Do.... I don't really answer the question.... And I slowly start to Spiral Out again, Keep Going...
 
Cheers Darlings'
Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On...