Yesterday.. today

What a day this has been.. actually two days. Yesterday I find out that we have yet another negative result - But I still haven't started my cycle and I'm showing some more really 'early signs'. And considering this started before July 1st - back when my life was happy and steady - the Doctor has order for more detailed blood work, looking for my specific HCG levels. If it comes back questionable or negative, we all sit back and wait - it's still early and women in my family seem to have low HCG levels where this stuff is concerned. So we'll sit back and wait - if I don't begin my cycle we run more blood work. And continue to do so along with examining and if it goes to long with out an answer even ultra sounds - looking for some answer. Even if it has nothing to do with what I'm actually holding hope for. I'll know my HCG levels Monday. I pray it's a positive. The waiting game is killing me and I have a bottle of rum waiting just incase it's a flat negative I come across when I do.
So I go out west - to visit the Reagan's. I go with my mother and we sit and we talk and we talk and we visit and we visit and we laugh. It feels good. I wish I could tell them,but I wont breath a word until I know for sure. I will not do that to them. If I'm not they'll never know it was ever a possibility. Though his Mom has asked about it a few times, when all this first started. If I am, they are the first to know... I hope, I pray for them I am. For them and for others... and lastly for myself. I want this. Still we talk, laugh and visit. And I would have stayed for diner, but we needed to head home to relieve the 'baby sitters' - my brother and his girl friend, basically staying at home to make sure my 12 year old sister doesn't either burn down the house or someone doesn't break in or what ever .
It's when I get home that I read the first comment left on my Page, from Jeremiah. He makes some good points - and I have allot to say in a reply. But like last night and today I'm tired. I've been on all morning tending to other things and I want to keep my reply short, but - I guess robust might be a good word. Again this is why I'm holding back on a reply to him and anyone else who speaks up till tonight or tomorrow morning. I appreciate the input and for now - Good to know all this type is being seen by some.

As far as today? I wake up to the alarm going off - not my clock, but the motion detector that is all but attached to the ceiling. Placed in a spot on a high shelf where only a bird could set it off.... a bird or a ghost. I wake up walk into the living room as it finishes it's last call of siren and low and behold -nothing is seen to be setting it off.; 'ELLO ALL! Thanks for letting me sleep in!
It's the only down side to this time of the month. Full moons and New moons help the things that go bump in the night bump faster and stronger. And what can I say, whoever is hanging around my house - driving my pets crazy loves to be heard. The motion detector is the fastest way to go about that. Bring on the advil.
I spend most of the lazy morning just talking to Meg, and some of my other online friends. It's good - I needed it. Jumping back into the RPG groups is good. It feels good to get outside of my self for a few hours. Outside of cleaning the living room and baking a cake, things are just slow. And you know It's boring me out of my skull... Oh well... Soon the Black Pearl will be mine. Then I can at least visit my old stomping grounds or head out west to some new ones.
Cheers Darlings'

Whatever Tomorrow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On