I can simply not keep doing this. I feel like a round spike trying to fit in a star shaped hole. A peasant girl trying to live in a pirates world. This isn't just another fish out of water story - Oh no, if it was I might still stand a chance! I don't exactly burn bridges - and I wont lie to you, I can't say I have never, but none with in the past year. Just I've reached a point in my life, before any of the recent events started happening, where I'm moving into a new life and don't really have any connections and all my old friends, my old life.. well we are all off doing the growing up thing. Unfortunately that means we've all taken different roads.. not ones that are easily traveled by old friendly visitors either. So I work hard, start to get a life together. I tore down allot of the old (bad habits mostly) and slowly began to rebuild. Then something unexpected happened - I fell in love. That shook my little world past the bone marrow and straight into the soul.. just a short while later, something else happened! I lost that love. The love. And I found myself in this half built, shaken world and no real direction to go in, no real connections to belong to, and despite efforts - no real ones to be made. I swear this isn't a woe-is-me sob story. Just a few realizations. Stability is water in my hands.. Reality is sand... and I'm not alone, but my position in life right now is unique, and I would give anything to change that.
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