So I'll be without internet access for a short while, due to some rushed changes in my life, still while I have access to the world wide web this evening, I plan to use it to my greatest advantage and report to my blog, and cross my every finger that all of ya'll that are of any importance to me remebered this damn thing exists.
Donovan and I have broken things off. Sure I know as well as the next person it was never meant to be. Amazing it ever was anything as long as it was. Still with out going into any detail be it active or not in the entire ordeal, I will say this; even though I am walking away from this happy and would not consider rekindling any flame or ember of any sort between us, I am still left feeling a bit out of sorts, and not nessecarily hurt, but disapointed and slightly foolish. Still I would not trade a moment of it in for the world, after all regrets hold us back. And honestly I have DJ to thank for alot of what I have become since lossing Russell.... and despite arguments made on behalf of many parties, what I have become really isn't all that bad, even if it was not at all planed, or even fully defined at the current.
My job at AstroWorld, is wonderful. Hands Down the best job I have ever had. My fellow ushers and techs are amazing people, and I could have never dreamed of a better group of people to interact with, my only wish is that the park was open 7 days a week now, instead of the simple 2. I am short on cash, so work is my only real outlet and it is a fun one. I've also in my short time with AstroWorld have developed an appreciation for Elvis... well actually not for the King himself, but rather for his music and how it is upheld by many preformers in today times, doing more the fair justice to the King himself.
I'm all Shook Up
and
Rock On
Two lessons to be learned in one here, The music made the man a King, and theres alot more to people then what sparkles and gleams on the surface.
Amen to that.
On the up side, I'm now seeking out the oppisite sex again and as well searching for a room mate. And not in the "Killing two birds with one stone" sense. So any takers?
Untill next time.
Wave On
and for gods' sake....
Cheers Darlings'
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
Some Kindof Week
I took a week off from the internet world, to just remain focus on my offline life and this is what I have to show for it:
New Job at Astro World, orientation is tomorrow, and it's a Usher position so I'll be working with (slightly with) all the cool people in the Entertainment department, which rocks because I'm already at the parties anyways, now I can say I OFFICIALLY belong there! Leaving DJ as the only non payrolled employee... non payroll because he is contract. So Rock On with that.
Most of the surface walls are primed and ready for the magic to begin where the remodeling of the house is concerned. Most of the Syle Stone is in place and set designs have been for 2 1/2 rooms - all but the accent stuff. And for R's room, were trying to find that fine line between Fine and Elegant Romance and PIMP. That could take a while. And if we could only decide on which color palette to attack the bathroom with, the votes are - Black And White, Industrial and The Original Maroon and Faded Mint Green. Which ever wins, I'm responsible for making most of it come into reality.
oh happy day.
Gandalf - the parrot - is now fully mimicking sounds.
And a recent trip to LA for some Casino Action, turned up the fact that I might be capable of getting through a few rounds of Black Jack on the winning end If I can only ignore everyone else.
Ya'See it kind of went like this...
DJ to the right, instructing me with his take on the hand. Me, of course trying to recall all that I had learned on the drive there - while searching my gut feelings. Then to the left of me, two seats over, some 40 year old trying To coach me through - like honestly who asked her? And I mean I could have lived with it and continued on just trying to be nice, with my best face forward, but when another 20-something College boy sat down between the 40 year old and I, she felt the need to ask him
"Do You Know How To Play?" And When He Answered "Yes, Why?" She replied. "Good, teach her, she needs the help!"
I admit I was on a down slide, but that's kind of how it is - you win some you lose some. And earlier I was winning and I understood enough of the game to probably go back up, I mean it was a five Dollar table, not like were talking life savings here. Anyways, that was the final straw, I stood up, took 5 bucks with me , giving the rest back to DJ and continued to play slots. What Can I say it's a pet peeve. The One thing that really gets me, people trying to help me when I really don't need it... I mean yeah I'm still learning the game, but I have my boyfriend right there helping me, I had his friend helping me on the way there - and I know they are good, hell in two nights they brought back a total of like 2,000 dollars. I was relieved later to find out the 40 year old had her fair share of losses and walked away not much better off then when she sat down - if at all.
What can I say? Again the Gambler and The Drinker.
All just practice at home, so next time I can hopefully avoid such pushy 'elders'.
Cheers Darlings'
New Job at Astro World, orientation is tomorrow, and it's a Usher position so I'll be working with (slightly with) all the cool people in the Entertainment department, which rocks because I'm already at the parties anyways, now I can say I OFFICIALLY belong there! Leaving DJ as the only non payrolled employee... non payroll because he is contract. So Rock On with that.
Most of the surface walls are primed and ready for the magic to begin where the remodeling of the house is concerned. Most of the Syle Stone is in place and set designs have been for 2 1/2 rooms - all but the accent stuff. And for R's room, were trying to find that fine line between Fine and Elegant Romance and PIMP. That could take a while. And if we could only decide on which color palette to attack the bathroom with, the votes are - Black And White, Industrial and The Original Maroon and Faded Mint Green. Which ever wins, I'm responsible for making most of it come into reality.
oh happy day.
Gandalf - the parrot - is now fully mimicking sounds.
And a recent trip to LA for some Casino Action, turned up the fact that I might be capable of getting through a few rounds of Black Jack on the winning end If I can only ignore everyone else.
Ya'See it kind of went like this...
DJ to the right, instructing me with his take on the hand. Me, of course trying to recall all that I had learned on the drive there - while searching my gut feelings. Then to the left of me, two seats over, some 40 year old trying To coach me through - like honestly who asked her? And I mean I could have lived with it and continued on just trying to be nice, with my best face forward, but when another 20-something College boy sat down between the 40 year old and I, she felt the need to ask him
"Do You Know How To Play?" And When He Answered "Yes, Why?" She replied. "Good, teach her, she needs the help!"
I admit I was on a down slide, but that's kind of how it is - you win some you lose some. And earlier I was winning and I understood enough of the game to probably go back up, I mean it was a five Dollar table, not like were talking life savings here. Anyways, that was the final straw, I stood up, took 5 bucks with me , giving the rest back to DJ and continued to play slots. What Can I say it's a pet peeve. The One thing that really gets me, people trying to help me when I really don't need it... I mean yeah I'm still learning the game, but I have my boyfriend right there helping me, I had his friend helping me on the way there - and I know they are good, hell in two nights they brought back a total of like 2,000 dollars. I was relieved later to find out the 40 year old had her fair share of losses and walked away not much better off then when she sat down - if at all.
What can I say? Again the Gambler and The Drinker.
All just practice at home, so next time I can hopefully avoid such pushy 'elders'.
Cheers Darlings'
Friday, March 11, 2005
The Gambler and The Drinker
This is the worst time for me to be posting. I'm sure I'm gonna say something I will end up regretting later, but my stomachs empty because I haven't eaten yet, My knees are scraped up because I fell over in a cabinet setting trying to clear the next remodeling spot in the kitchen, I have yet to hear back from anyone about a job and unexpected company just... well unexpected for me, I think I might just kill (figurtively of course) DJ if I later find out that the company was expected and I was never told... Just stopped by to help out. The help is mildly appreciated after three days of working straight through on the house. Never the less, despite the fact that I almost never shriek like a girl (IE: When I fell today in the kitchen, not a peep slipped my lips - to busy trying to react in hopes of making the fall as painless as possible.) And despite the fact that I don't Scrap Book and take part in many other girly hobbies - Despite all of this I am still a Girl, and Girls - most girls hate to be left in the dark on things like company drop in's.
Ok, maybe I am over reacting, and no I'm not using this as a 'safe note' anyone. I'm just venting. Honestly I feel like awful, my life recently has birthed a light depression - no one can blame me after a close examination of my life. Over all I'm not upset about the drop in or anything else that has occurred, I'm just weary of what's next. When it all comes down to it - I simply would rather be given a heads-up and deal with the communication issue later after the fact, then have no warning at all and become blindsided.
Still on top of all else, I feel like I'm gambling my time and energy and so much more into the chance of maybe coming through all of this and having won or earned a place to call my own sanctuary - but the stakes are only getting higher and the game is more and more looking like Russian Roulette then Black Jack - card counting wont help ya here.
Bottom line, I need something stable to rely on. And sure I have my family. But understandably so I really don't want to have to go home and start over... Pride can be a good thing sometimes. I need something stable to rely on and this world that surrounds me, I just don't have that. I know all I really need to do is trust, but that's bitten me in the ass before many times.. maybe all I need to do is have Faith, I'm trying - but it's not an over night thing. So I'm working. And it's a gamble...
When I was younger, back in JR High and High School, Jonesy and I used to plan out our trips to New Orleans, She always planed to Gamble - I always planed to Drink. The Gambler and The Drinker... a wonderful pair.
It's funny how even back then She and I always knew the roles we were meant to play.
Spiral Out, Whatever Tomorrow Brings and Wave On
Cheers Darlings'
Ok, maybe I am over reacting, and no I'm not using this as a 'safe note' anyone. I'm just venting. Honestly I feel like awful, my life recently has birthed a light depression - no one can blame me after a close examination of my life. Over all I'm not upset about the drop in or anything else that has occurred, I'm just weary of what's next. When it all comes down to it - I simply would rather be given a heads-up and deal with the communication issue later after the fact, then have no warning at all and become blindsided.
Still on top of all else, I feel like I'm gambling my time and energy and so much more into the chance of maybe coming through all of this and having won or earned a place to call my own sanctuary - but the stakes are only getting higher and the game is more and more looking like Russian Roulette then Black Jack - card counting wont help ya here.
Bottom line, I need something stable to rely on. And sure I have my family. But understandably so I really don't want to have to go home and start over... Pride can be a good thing sometimes. I need something stable to rely on and this world that surrounds me, I just don't have that. I know all I really need to do is trust, but that's bitten me in the ass before many times.. maybe all I need to do is have Faith, I'm trying - but it's not an over night thing. So I'm working. And it's a gamble...
When I was younger, back in JR High and High School, Jonesy and I used to plan out our trips to New Orleans, She always planed to Gamble - I always planed to Drink. The Gambler and The Drinker... a wonderful pair.
It's funny how even back then She and I always knew the roles we were meant to play.
Spiral Out, Whatever Tomorrow Brings and Wave On
Cheers Darlings'
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Urban in the City
So, after a long and busy week, keep in mind it's only wednesday, I'm sitting here at the end of the day, mid way through the night, trying to figure out at least a dozen different things, one of which being the second attempt at article/short story writing and all I can get for that much is a start:
They Never Tell You It's Going To Be Like This
that or....
For The Hours And Hours People Spend, Trying To Put Together The Stories Of Our Lives, It's Amazing What They Leave Out, and Who They Forget
I'm not sure which one I like more, perhaps it'll turn into two separate stories and if I manage to actually get past the first line on either of them maybe, just maybe if I address every editor from here to Bangkok, maybe, just maybe it'll sale. The main problem isn't in not knowing what to write, it's in not knowing where to place my focus, because lets face it, how much thought can really be put into 1,000 max word count? If you think allot - Then I suggest you try it, really get raving, count the words and assuming you have over stepped the set limit, try shaving it down to the required - without losing your point and purpose. Some people have the ability, some don't... so far I don't. Still a girl has to try to make a buck or two while waiting for a real job to come up.
Oh and on that note, if Astro World dose hire me, it's for weekends only until May, and then 5 days a week, so time I will have.
Other stuff on my mind? Well I just saw Keith Urban in concert at the Rodeo - My god, He is a Guitar God. I have never seen, or rather heard anyone mix such styles as rock, blues and country, in such a smooth way. And his lead guitar player.... well that is when he wasn't playing lead... was impressive as well, mimicking the sounds of a digareydo (SP??) and other instruments on his guitar - I was in such awe of the performance from Urban himself that I almost, almost missed the chance to check out his thick arms and tight butt.... maybe that was a little far, but hey I'm a girl, and ontop of that, he's a good looking Aussie - can ya blame me?
I also attended a wedding last Saturday, helping Donovan out some as he raced around the wedding looking very ass-like to capture the event in it's most purest form... He really is a good photographer. I wouldn't cook diner and wash laundry all the time if he wasn't. (just kidding DJ) The wedding reminded me so much of JONSEY's wedding, where I met Russell (well where I first really had a chance to meet him) so of course I spent the entire night depressed and teary eyed. I wont tell you where and what DJ, R and R were doing, but lets just say it was a long night and my truck - the pearl - racked up nearly 100 miles, in under three hours, that and everyone slept in for hours and hours the next day.
On the Up side DJ, R and I (me) spent the past three days getting the home front up to livable. Two of the 'room mates' are moving out soon, so the house is once more on it's way to becoming a GUY WONDERLAND. The style is very Industrial - Ecliptic - Mod style and I'm fighting as hard as I can for the 'OK' to try and bring even a little sanity, if not grown up style to it. I won't go into all the details, but when I say GUY WONDERLAND, I mean it every sense of the word, two un married men, acting as Houston's version of JAY AND SILENT BOB and living the fun life - and I'm the girl hanging out in this world, which can be tough - simply because the rent is well with in my soon to be hopeful budget.
Oh an on the last note, since it seems I'm posting again.
R - is a Guy
RB - is a cool Chick
and when they are put together as
R&R - you get them :]
and of course DJ and Donovan are the same dude
Jonseys - best friend
and if any more come up I'll refresh.
Whatever Tomorrow Brings, Spiral Out and Wave On....
Cheers Darlings'
They Never Tell You It's Going To Be Like This
that or....
For The Hours And Hours People Spend, Trying To Put Together The Stories Of Our Lives, It's Amazing What They Leave Out, and Who They Forget
I'm not sure which one I like more, perhaps it'll turn into two separate stories and if I manage to actually get past the first line on either of them maybe, just maybe if I address every editor from here to Bangkok, maybe, just maybe it'll sale. The main problem isn't in not knowing what to write, it's in not knowing where to place my focus, because lets face it, how much thought can really be put into 1,000 max word count? If you think allot - Then I suggest you try it, really get raving, count the words and assuming you have over stepped the set limit, try shaving it down to the required - without losing your point and purpose. Some people have the ability, some don't... so far I don't. Still a girl has to try to make a buck or two while waiting for a real job to come up.
Oh and on that note, if Astro World dose hire me, it's for weekends only until May, and then 5 days a week, so time I will have.
Other stuff on my mind? Well I just saw Keith Urban in concert at the Rodeo - My god, He is a Guitar God. I have never seen, or rather heard anyone mix such styles as rock, blues and country, in such a smooth way. And his lead guitar player.... well that is when he wasn't playing lead... was impressive as well, mimicking the sounds of a digareydo (SP??) and other instruments on his guitar - I was in such awe of the performance from Urban himself that I almost, almost missed the chance to check out his thick arms and tight butt.... maybe that was a little far, but hey I'm a girl, and ontop of that, he's a good looking Aussie - can ya blame me?
I also attended a wedding last Saturday, helping Donovan out some as he raced around the wedding looking very ass-like to capture the event in it's most purest form... He really is a good photographer. I wouldn't cook diner and wash laundry all the time if he wasn't. (just kidding DJ) The wedding reminded me so much of JONSEY's wedding, where I met Russell (well where I first really had a chance to meet him) so of course I spent the entire night depressed and teary eyed. I wont tell you where and what DJ, R and R were doing, but lets just say it was a long night and my truck - the pearl - racked up nearly 100 miles, in under three hours, that and everyone slept in for hours and hours the next day.
On the Up side DJ, R and I (me) spent the past three days getting the home front up to livable. Two of the 'room mates' are moving out soon, so the house is once more on it's way to becoming a GUY WONDERLAND. The style is very Industrial - Ecliptic - Mod style and I'm fighting as hard as I can for the 'OK' to try and bring even a little sanity, if not grown up style to it. I won't go into all the details, but when I say GUY WONDERLAND, I mean it every sense of the word, two un married men, acting as Houston's version of JAY AND SILENT BOB and living the fun life - and I'm the girl hanging out in this world, which can be tough - simply because the rent is well with in my soon to be hopeful budget.
Oh an on the last note, since it seems I'm posting again.
R - is a Guy
RB - is a cool Chick
and when they are put together as
R&R - you get them :]
and of course DJ and Donovan are the same dude
Jonseys - best friend
and if any more come up I'll refresh.
Whatever Tomorrow Brings, Spiral Out and Wave On....
Cheers Darlings'
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