Different Comforts

I think death changes everyone. Some it effects for a short time, others for a long time, and that's not to say the loss of a loved one comes with an expiration date, I'm actually trying to point on the opposite. Effects of a death will linger in us all, forever - until we reach our own evers. The temporary is just how much it all shows on the outside. A friend of my lost a loved one recently, the news had reached this person about ten minutes before they were due on stage. The show went off with out a noticeable hitch and after we were all left standing, wondering what to say and/or what to do next, this person was one of the many cancers I know and care about, and with a cancer, with most cancers, well I just had no clue on what to do or say. And in my moment to act, I feel as if what I offered, a very silent hug wasn't enough, or rather wasn't right. It had just been done from others and we are all different so our offers of comforts should have been different. I knew this, I learned this with Russell, when I was on the receiving end of allot of these particular offerings. So I should have come up with something different, more me. But a hug is a hug and not much from me. Still not even one show later and we are all laughing again. The pain was still there, common sense says it has to be, but you wouldn't have known, no way and no how. I'm now curious to see how things go after the closure is had. There is always the still moments between the death and the wake and further more between a wake and a grave side, The News, The Reality, The Severing. The loss of a loved one, in most situations is allowed three chances to leave it's effect on our hearts and souls, three attempts to alter us perfectly, in hopes of making us better or worse, or if only more aware. Still we are all different, much like the comforts we offer should each be different, so is true that no one death will effect us all in the same way. Even as a whiteness, and I think I speak for everyone in that tiny room on that day, even as a whiteness, we walk away ... Changed even if only momentarily in some way.