Five Days To Kill

I've been thinking about Friendships and other sorts of relationships, mostly just trying to figure out why I'm having such a hard time pulling anything of the sorts together in my life.

Like as Kids, I'm starting to think the only reason why any of us ever made any friends at all, is simply a product of boredom relief. Lets face it, there's school, and home work, chores - if you grew up in a house hold like mine and then there's times like weekends and summers where - again if you grew up in a home like mine, summers were not filled with tropical vacations or cross country trips. So a need presents it self, and friendships are made between local neighboring kids. May not have anything else in common - just the fact that we are all kids with nothing else to do. So Kid friendships are born... Hell in second grade, I met my first - real - best "girl" friend. Basically I was on the play ground when I was approached by a small group of kids, looking for some one to play the YELLOW POWER RANGER. I had never even heard of the Power Rangers, but it was either join in or continue spending my recess time walking circles around the oak tress. ( the roots were kind of cool) So I said yes, they told me I was the Yellow Ranger, introduced me to Lindsey B. who was the new Pink Ranger - she'd never seen the show either. And we all set out to search for other kids to join in the fun, I think there was a total of 7 of us... it would be another year or so before I would finally sit down and watch The Power Rangers, and by then the school year was over and Lindsey and I remained friends for another 3 or 4 years.

Then as adolescents - y'know, the JR High and High School years. For those of us who couldn't hold on to our child hood friends, we would find our selves outsiders in a world full of clicks. Still at that age we our ruled by MTV and other young adult programming, everything in our worlds told us that even as an outsider, we belong to some group. Wait patiently enough and the 'group' will find you. I can't think of how many times I would be out somewhere, 'hanging out' and people coming to me and asking me "Are you a Kicker?" "Are you a Prepy?" "Are you a Goth?" . So even as a LONER I still found my self in a group. Even if the group conceits of like 3 kids. Again it's a matter of boredom, followed closely behind by the need to have a style.

Now, I'm an adult. And in a very annoying fashion, things seem to have changed. And I would like to say that there is less drama and bull shit in this time of my life, in this age 'group' then there ever was as a teenager, but honestly there isn't. Drama isn't something people grow out of... or if it is, it takes a bit more then a decade. And friends, well not exactly a means to an end, it's more of a preference of personal choice. And friendships... good, real friendships... not a person you know on your Phone list or IM List, but real friends... are soooo hard to find.