songs around my head

Ok, so you know roughly what I did last weekend. For the past three days I'll give another run by. Much shorter.. I hope...

Tuesday: Discovered that the DVD's at Hollywood Video, titled DEAD LIKE ME are actually very good. I'm still looking up more information and I will promise to bring you more on it soon, but in the mean time if your looking for something to watch, and if you like dark humor, pick up any one of the first seasons collection and enjoy, cause I know you will. Later in the evening, I was slightly shanghaied again - this time I was held at the Ice House. A bit of drama... lots of boredom and those who know me best know that once I become board it's not that far of a stretch for me to move into mean - sharpened tongue and all. The night ended... and I use that term loosely.

Wednesday: Some how I managed to get through my day at work with out getting fired, despite the fact I ran my first shift on about an hour-and-a-half of sleep. I did the smart thing and took the Pearl everywhere I went so that way I could get home at a slightly more decent hour.

So now it's THURSDAY. And who knows what is instore. More time watching Dead Like Me, on a friends couch with some carry out or delivery close at hand to surfice the need for munchies? Maybe. Another day of trying to figure out my new Cell Phone - yes I have finally began to catch up with the rest of the world...

A bit less of what I do and a bit more of what and/or who I am...

For the past two nights in a row I have experienced moments where I have felt happy. And I mean truly happy. And it has lasted for more then a passing moment. When this happens I look at where I'm at, who I'm with and what I'm doing - and honestly I have no real reason to feel Happy. Now that's not to say I should feel awful and constantly down in the dumps - and that's not to say I'm un happy with being happy. I think it's just odd - to feel happy for no reason. I guess I'm really just getting back to living. The waves of course still come. Some days are far worse then others.
Speaking of waves, I heard Wave On Wave, while I was driving home late Tuesday or rather Early Wednesday... and it came on right after It's Your Love, and the first verse in Wave On Wave is.. or rather the opening line is; "This Road That I Am Upon Has No Direction" And later, right before the song reaches it's first chorus the lyrics read "So Caught Now Up In Pretending, What We're Seeking Is The Truth... I'm Just Looking For A Happy Ending - All I'm Looking For Is You." ... I swear this song gets me. I mean it's not even my favorite Pat Green song.. Not Even close. Every time I turn around it hits me from a new perspective.
I guess my real point is every time I turn around there is a song playing on the radio or in the back ground to one of the scenes that make up my life that echoes Russell and my time with him. Like 'our' song, if I had to pin one down was probably 'My Song' by Elton John. - I think it's called My Song... maybe Your Song...oh well. Anyways so I could go forever without hearing it on the radio - now I here it like at least once a week. And Pat Green's Take Me Out To A Dancehall.... I heard it for the first time of the Radio the other night... Donna Luis; I Love You Always Forever... which has a very small tie in to a memory, but still I had gone forever without hearing it, and all of a sudden, I heard it 3 times in the last week or so. And there is so much more, and I dodge many songs - Never Godsmack of course. I always turn up the volume when they come on, nice and loud - pump up the base a bit. It's kind of like what happened in the issue of SandMan, where he goes to pay a visit to John Constantine - I don't know, I think that's right. And sometimes the weight of the waves will crash down upon me and pull me under.. and some times they lift me up.

I don't know - Just some random thoughts. I'm good at that.

Whatever Tommorow Brings... Spiral Out... Wave On