Three Days

The past three days have been jampacked with ups and downs. Still all things considered the Surf has been pretty mild.

I talked to Jonesy, yesterday; lil'John is doing better. Lungs have stabled and he's taking in milk.. I think she said. A few worries in some other areas, but he was very premature, so all things considered - I mean from what I've learned in my time off, about premature babies, I think what she had to say sounded pretty good. Again, I know I should be far more worried, but I'm just not. Don't get me wrong, I pray every night for him, but I don't know why.. Maybe because he's a Leo, a July 28th Leo at that - They are to strong, and of course all Leo's have that Royal way about them. I think it comes from always thinking they are right... and the hard part about that is, for the rest of us at least; 75% of the time, they are. I guess that might be why I don't worry near as much as some feel should.

Kids at work, my students I help to transport around on the big yellow lil'bus, are beginning to reveal their very own and unique personalities. Keeping me on my toes, and my Bus very clean. Today was a bit nerve racking though, some children crave attention and find odd ways of attracting it. I can't remember the last time I was so scared on a bus. My heart sank so low into my stomach... I Love and Hate my job all at the same time. Rewarding and Painful, and very Taxing all at the same time. A real hold your breath kind of work.

Anyways, things seem to be moving good with Russell's case. The news that has reached me, both good and bad has left me a bit more relieved.. I don't know if it should have, but it has, though Tuesday I went to work with such knots in my stomach! But of course by the end of the work day, I was to tired to recall my active worries. Though today, dealing in that area - I found out that many, many people at my work have been asking my mom about what happened, She in turn told me what she had been telling them... and what effects... what the loss really was to her, to most of us...

Trying to move along here...

Tuesday, I actually went into the pool for about a half hour to an hour. I haven't done that since the Summer started. Maybe I felt like I needed the exercise.. maybe the chance to clear my mind.. maybe the idea that I might start to introduce my skin to pigmentation....

I also began to read the Good Book again. I mean I'm always reading up on it, so to speak with Religions and such. I read the full book of Ruth one night last week.. I don't know why. I don't really know if I pulled anything from it. And this week I have this unexplainable urge to open it up again and begin reading the book of Jeremiah. It's been one of my favorite books of the bible for a long time now. Actually my favorite verse is found in Jeremiah: 29.11 "For I Know The Thoughts That I Think Towards You, Saith The Lord, Thoughts Of Peace, And Not Of Evil, To Give You An Expected End."
That's the King James version of course, I guess in other versions, it comes across a bit differently. Like the idea that the Lord, my God has not forgotten me or Forsaken me, and keeps in mind a plan, a set course that I can trust and follow until my end. I guess I find something comforting in that... Personally it's my favorite verse, but trust me I have so many tagged for other occasions. Anyways so I'm re-reading reading this book after moving on from that, and what I'm pulled to next is anyone's guess. It just hits me out of no where and I sit down and follow through - gut feeling I guess. Unlike Ruth, I know I have already gotten something out of my time spent reading.

My mind just keeps going back to that verse, time and time again.

My left arm is killing me, I know my energy level will never be what it was during May and June, but right now I can't even find the strength I had in my worst day before - Even on the 'good' days. I find it takes Energy to recall lessons about Energy and Frequencies; Metaphysically speaking. And I need to go back and read up, but my arm might actually be the source 'side' of the drainage. I definitely can say it feels that way 24/7. I'm even looking into the Maharic Seal Procedure, I don't know if I believe in whatever IT is, but I do believe in meditation, and if nothing else the exercise would be great for focus. It's pulls from The ECKSHA symbol. It's considered one of the 5 living symbols.. I think, Though I can't recall at this moment why or by who, I know it goes way, way back to an early system of beliefs.. again I don't know how much of this I actually believe, but I will say this, when I touched the symbol, my friend brought to me - I can't really explain what it felt like, I just know I have never in my life felt anything like that come off a symbol sketched along some ordinary paper.. so it appeared at least. And I believe symbols can hold great power, when they are brought about with much care and preparation. To much evil in the world for such a thing not to be possible.. even if it is only remotely. I guess in that same turn, to much Good in the world. If whatever this thing is, dose work and further more, dose check out ok, by my 'book'. Then it may not actually build up my energy, but it should help to keep it in check.. Protect it I guess. AGAIN I don't know, just looking into it, if my faith can't back it, then I drop it. But I know the Lord works in mysterious ways, and I know well the history and intent of the Holy Bible, and my faith is my Anchor. The difference, From what I can tell, at this point in my life at least, who knows this view may change later on; The difference between Drifting towards or rather in search of new things and Spiraling towards, in search of new things is simply put: An Anchor. When you Drift, you find your anchor is your self, it's about what settles with you and you alone, what you chose to keep and what you chose to discard falls on you and you alone.. and no that is not always such a bad thing. But Spiral, to spiral out, you would have an Anchor outside your self, a belief or way of thinking that you have adopted, but not entirely your own. A set, an Anchor that has come before you and will probably be around long after you. As well, not always a bad thing.

Drift or Spiral, whatever works for you, but try to keep going, try to keep in search of new things.
And for a small taste of Irony; I can't stand TOOL, but I obviously quote them enough. Well Tool and Pat Green. :] Well no matter how the wording came about, the lesson is a long time learned.. and I'm sure it will change and grow as I do, but for now my faith - my convictions are as stated and shared from time to time.

Guess I had allot to say.. helps the mind to dodge the waves that keep coming towards me.

Whatever Tomorrow Brings.... Spiral Out... Wave On....